The Women Tell All: Recap

The Boyfriend is giving me 60 minutes to write this blog post, as it’s currently 11 PM EST, we just finished watching The Women Tell All episode, I’ve been up since 5:30 AM for boot camp class, followed by a 10.5 hour work day, so I better get cracking.

Tonight’s show was about 33% recap, 33% cat fight and 33.3333% interesting information. The show started with a recap of Jason’s journey. They showed the same scenes we have seen about 25 times over and over again. Jason loves Molly’s eyes. She does the walk of shame on their first overnight date. Jason’s eyes lighting up when Melissa tells him she wants to use her summers off from being a first grade teacher to “play with her kids.” Jillian and Jason’s hot tub scene in New Zealand with her legs wrapped around him. Naomi’s mother’s dead dove orchestration and Naomi screaming out “Oh. My. G-d.” Stephanie running toward her daughter Sophia on the beach and tackling her to the ground. The dramatics of the General Hospital Set. Megan’s attempt to shove her tongue down Jason’s throat. They even replayed Shannon’s runny/picking nose scene where she attempts to kiss Jason after saying to him., “You can’t let me go. I have so much to offer you. Jason.” ‘Nuff said on the recap. We’ve all seen it. Nothing new here.

One of the best parts of the night was when Chris the Host sat down with Jason and started asking him questions that everyone wants to know. What happened in the tent with Molly? Yes, we all want to know! Jason says they only kissed. Then Chris tries to ask him in terms of bases.

Jason says, they only got to first base. Well there you have it. Who says it’s not fun to kiss and tell?

Some other interesting facts we learn from Chris’s interview with Jason:

1. Steph watched Jason on The Bachelor as a way of helping her through her grief after her husband died.

2. Jason didn’t kiss Shannon after the General Hospital date, because she had snot on her face, combined with napkins and she was picking her nose.

3. Jason referred to Jillian as “the ultimate friend.” He knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. For all of us that had hopes of Jillian being the big surprise at the end of the season, I think we can safely put that hope to rest. The good news is that she seemed to be agreeable to being the next Bachelorette, if asked!

4. On Jason and Naomi’s hometown date, they went horseback riding. Jason’s horse got spooked and started jerking around, making Jason basically fall of it. They replayed this about 5 times during the show. I wonder if Jason would have rather gotten thrown off a horse or spent 5 more minutes in a room with Hector, Naomi’s dad being lectured about Jesus’s idea of marriage. It must be a close call.

5. On the golfing hometown date with Molly, she lost a bet to him and ended up having to

wear his pants. I have no idea how they came up with this bet as they never mentioned what the bet actually was, or how they decided the loser’s fate. Very strange. Did Molly want to see Jason in her skirt if she lost? Kind of bizarre. They also didn’t show them playing beer bong. Lots of Molly scenes being deleted. I wonder if that means anything. He also did a horrible rap for Molly before they spent three hours in the tent together.

6. Chris asked Jason what really goes on in the Fantasy Suite. Great question, Chris. We definitely all want to know this! Jason responded that it’s a real overnight date where two people get to know each other. There’s no cameras, and it’s really one of the first times where you can actually talk and get things out without fear of it being caught on camera. When Chris pressed him even more about what really went on, Jason said, “He is NOT going to talk about this right now."

7. They showed a scene twice of Jason and Molly in a bathtub together where the tub starts to drain and it sounds like gas. Jason described it as really awkward. I think if these two were really compatible, they would have thought it was hysterically funny. Gas is real, folks. And if they are awkward about that, wait until Ty throws up in their bed the next time he gets a stomach bug.

After Jason’s interview, there is a segment on former Bachelor/Bachelorette couples. They interview Trista and Ryan in Vail, Colorado who could not be any cuter. They have a toddler son Max and a baby girl on the way. I love this family! Trista says she thinks Jason picks Melissa.

Next, they bring out Charlie and Sarah. I must say, Sarah looked fabulous. Chris interviews them and we learn that they broke up for about a year (we already knew this) but then got back together.

When asked why they broke up, Sarah says that alcohol played a factor. Woaaah. That was way too honest. Apparently Charlie had a drinking problem. Maybe she could have been a little more gray on this? Like, “We had some issues, but we worked them out?” Did anybody else think she totally sold him out?

Next, we learn that a bunch of the girls from British Matt’s season met up with a bunch of the guys from DeAnna’s season and basically had an orgy. The girls were Chelsea (who posed for Playboy), Amanda (who seems to have had a fling with Graham), Holly (who confirmed that

"Jesse is taken!” by her) and Noelle. Most exciting of all of this, we learn that Noelle is dating Fred from DeAnna’s season. So exciting. Fred seems like a great guy. Very thick Midwestern accent, but a genuinely nice person. They admit that they are in love with each other and I thought were a very cute couple. Good for them!

The second hour arrived, and finally, the girls are introduced. It’s Racquel, Lisa, Erica, Jackie, Megan, Renee, Lauren, Stephanie, Sharon, Natalee, Kari, Shannon, Nikki, Naomi and Jillian. We don’t hear a peep from Racquel, Lisa, Renee (Vision Boards), Sharon or Kari. You’d think in the two hours they had scheduled for this, they may have said something, but this was not the case.

Stephanie seemed very happy and content. Her outfit was a bit confusing – a chiffon, layered top with pink chiffon looking pants. Maybe she thought it was a pajama party women tell all, but I thought she was once again very gracious in her comments about Jason and the experience in general. Classy lady.

Did anybody else see how Nikki was covering her sideburns? She definitely got the feedback. Maybe she’s in the process of growing them out. There was a large chunk of tonight’s show where Erica, Megan and Lauren were reliving the drama in the house. It wasn’t really that interesting – same cattiness, different day.

Chris’s interview with Spray Tanned Barbie (Natalie) was painfully awkward. As soon as she

said down, Chris made a comment about her jewelry to which Natalie immediately responded, “I don’t like jewelry. I’m not materialistic.” She then starts pointing out that all of the bracelets she is wearing (a ton for someone who doesn’t like jewelry) cost $2. Holy cow. She’s definitely paranoid about how she came off on the show. I thought she also seemed really angry. They did a flashback to her embarrassing conversation with Jason on their date to Vegas. Here’s why:

Natalie: I’ve always been the cute, sporty girl who loves clothes

Jason: You’re into fashion. Cool. You’ve got all that. What else?

Natalie: I love bears.

Jason: Like pandas? Koalas?

Natalie: No, pretty much all bears.

Then they show her angry in the limo after getting rejected. “Jason isn’t attracted to me? Who does he think he is? G-D?” Natalie tries to explain herself to Chris. They put her in a bubble world. Took away her Blackberry which is her life. Chris responds, “So they took away all of the superficial things.” Natalie responds to him, “Chris, you need to calm down.” Then the girls went off on Natalie – saying she had a bad personality in the house. I started to feel bad for her by the end of the night. They all ganged up on her and she stood no chance.

Then out comes Jillian. They do a recap of her love story with Jason. She is just so adorable. She got teary eyed during the interview and admitted that she really did fall in love. I really really really hope she’s considered for the next Bachelorette.

As Jillian put it, “you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the prince.”

The end of the two hours, just as we are beating our heads against the wall trying to get brain

cells back, we see the recaps of Jason’s journeys with Molly and Melissa. We also see a bunch of outtakes which were pretty funny: Melissa giving a speech to the cameras, when a bee comes up to her and she freaks out, screaming and runs away; Molly jumping into the tub with Jillian and Melissa with her clothes on. We also saw some previews for next week with the final two interacting with Jason’s family and Ty. Should be interesting.

But nothing leaves us with more anxiety than Chris’s parting words of the night:

“You can see we have no audience. What you are about to witness is potentially so dramatic, so emotionally difficult, we decided out of respect for the parties involved to keep the taping of tonight’s show at intimate as possible.”

WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN??? For those of you wise enough to stay away from spoilers and blogs posting different theories, I won’t ruin it for you here. Suffice it to say that there are some CRAZY theories out there running rampant on Jason’s final decision. If you want to hear them and possibly ruin the ending for yourself (I personally do NOT believe the current rumors out there as I don’t believe Jason would ever do what they are suggesting that he did) – then Google “Reality Steve conspiracy theories.” You’ll find a ton of articles offering equal speculation of nonsense. Personally, I’d rather spend my time elsewhere. I’m even more convinced than ever that DeAnna’s appearance will be brief and insignificant. A ratings ploy.

I’m almost at my 60 minutes limit, so I better get going. Don’t forget to enter the contest to win some free eco friendly bags from GetMarried.com signed by DeAnna Pappas. Just answer the two questions listed at my blog posts below and you can see how to enter.

Looking forward to hearing all of your comments on tonight’s show and the upcoming FIVE HOURS in 2 NIGHTS finale next week!!!

Good night!