The Bachelorette, Episode 3 Recap

16 guys left. Tonight, it's 3 dates: 2 individual dates, 1 group date.

Ed gets the first one on one. I like Ed. He still seems like a good guy so far - a nice Midwestern dude and he's pretty well liked by the others in the bunk house. He drives up to meet Jillian where she is waiting for him with a helicopter. They are both super excited as her last ride in one of these things was with Jason and she's ready to make some new memories. Jillian refers to him as "big strong hunky Ed. " According to The Boyfriend, "He doesn't seem like a big, hunky guy." Maybe it's because Jillian is so small. I think he has a sort of Karate Kid, good-guy, feel-good charm to him. He has kind eyes and isn't a showy kind of dude. I also liked what he had to say about his career and wanting to be stable and secure before having a family. That's a great sign of maturity.

They seem immediately comfortable with each other. We learned it's Ed's first helicopter ride - and he's mesmerized by all of the scenery. He says, "it was tough to figure out what I liked more - looking at the ocean or Jillian." He is very affectionate towards her and they look really cute and content together. Hooray! They even cued in the romantic Bachelor music they play whenever people say things like this. I wonder if they sell a soundtrack for this stuff. I could play it for The Boyfriend during dinner.

The helicopter leads them to a very tall building in LA, and Ed is probably wondering what the hell they are doing. They have a funny exchange:

Ed: What floor are we on?
Jillian: I think we're on the top floor.

This is an awesome conversation because they are outdoors on a building rooftop in downtown LA- so clearly they are on the top floor. We see these two yellow ropes that extend from the building roof and Jillian tells Ed that they will be going on them. Holy scary!! Ed looks like he's going to be sick. He's absolutely terrified as they are getting harnessed in and says to her, "You better give me a rose." Good call, Ed. If I'm going to risk my life and zip line and dangle my body over an open city, I better be guaranteed a rose! Of course Jillian does not seem nervous at all and she says that you "have to take a leap of faith." Yes, Jillian, but that doesn't mean you need to leap off a building to do that! They go through with it and seem to land in a pool. Eventually they strip down to their bathing suits and have a nice, intimate exchange in the pool. There's some nice kissing action going on and Jillian acknowledges that Ed's an "extremely sexy guy" and that she has a crush on him. He's totally going to the final four.

The date moves into night and they have a romantic rooftop planned on top of the Bonaventure Hotel. She loves that she popped his helicopter cherry. Strange line, Jillian. Ed didn't really have any reaction to that - because what is there exactly to say? I liked her hair, btw, on this date. They made it shinier and have a bit less frizz. I thought she looked great. What better way to feel confident in making out with sexy Ed than having sexy hair?

Next, it's the group date with 11 guys: Reid, Wes, Mike, Tanner F, Jesse, Mark, Michael, Brad, Robby, Tanner P, Kiptyn and Juan

Meanwhile, back on the date, Ed is turning it up a notch, commenting on how he likes Jillian's eyes. He's into her, but he has his guard up (don't they all?) - and she loves this about him.
He gets the rose, she gives him a little speech, all is well. He's moving into the house!

It's the group date and they all get into a party limo and arrive on the live Hollywood set of a Western town. Today Jillian is looking to see who will be good sports. Tanner P is dressed like Fred Flinstone, western style, it's the first time I stopped thinking about his foot fetish (this moment is short lived).

First off - can we talk about this group date? Why is ABC so unoriginal with their group dates? They are clearly repeating Jason's date from last season, bringing the girls to the set of General Hospital and having them write up a ridiculous scene so he could make out with as many girls as possible. Unless Jillian specifically requested this, so she could kiss as many of the guys as possible (except for Michael and Mike who had a wonderful gay scene together). Couldn't they have thought of anything different for 11 guys to do with her?

Brad gets the first kiss in the Western scene. "Brad's kiss was one of the most awkward things I ever saw two human beings do together," says Michael. "Looks like he was honestly kissing his sister," says Tanner P. Yikes, Brad. I knew he'd be awkward as soon as he put on that ridiculous Burberry tie at the previous rose ceremony.

As they all take their turns smooching with Jillian, you've got to wonder what the purpose of this is. I think this show may be the direct source of the swine flu. Holy germs swap - especially with Jillian telling them "no tongue." The Boyfriend thinks some of the guys are total phonies - like Robby from Texas (who I think is sweet). Says The Boyfriend: "What bartender hasn't kissed a girl in two years?" says The Boyfriend about Robby. I did, however, LOVE their kiss scene where Robby tells Jillian that he is going to marry her and then plants a nice one on her. She is totally blown away.

Wes takes her away from the crowds for some alone time - and the guys are all angry. Wes spends this alone time babbling like a crazy person telling Jillian the ways he is going to kiss her (first on the cheek, later on the lips. Wes, a lady doesn't want to hear about it - she just wants you to do it!) He is definitely jealous of all the kissing Jillian is doing with people other than him.

Meanwhile, Mike (the werewolf looking guy) is pretty bummed out. BTW, I found out from my friend Stephanie, that Mike (aka speedo dude on the beach last week), is from my hometown of New City, NY (Rockland County, NY) and went to my high school. He is a couple years younger than me. I never knew him, but think this is cool.

After the day on set, she has planned a party to celebrate. Just like on the General Hospital date last season, Jillian plans a post set party. It was also at this amazing after party where Shannon had snot running down her nose, got napkins pieces caught in her nostrils and then insisted that Jason kiss her. That may have been my all time favorite moment of last season. I wonder what Shannon is doing these days. Oh wait, she said she was going home to give French kisses to her dog. I miss her.

Ok, so it's the after party for Jillian and her men and they go to a penthouse of a beautiful building in downtown LA to hang out in. Jillian is wearing a sequined knee length dress which is pretty. Reid whisks her away and they talk about their past relationships. Reid says in a one on one with a camera, and he's wondering whether to go in for the kiss. Just as he's about to go in for it, Juan shows up (and cue the Latin Bachelor music). Reid is bummed that his time got cut short.

Juan takes Jillian away and says, "We have sooooooooo much to talk about."
Jillian responds, "Really??" For a second I think she FINALLY gets it that he's way too annoying for her, but she still seems a bit mesmerized by him. UGH. He's way too intense for me. He holds her hand and is very into gesticulating - I just don't know if this guy is straight (maybe he should have done the Mike scene at the show).

Meanwhile, back at the bunk house, Dave is acting like a goon. He's cursing and getting all worked up about Juan. What a jerk. Juan might be annoying, but he doesn't deserve to be cursed about and threatened behind his back by Dave. Sasha gets the last one on one date.
Dave is trashed and bitching that he didn't get the one on one. His eye lids are getting redder and redder with every drink.

Meanwhile, back on the group date, they all get into a hot tub. Tanner P is obviously excited by this because this puts him in close proximity to Jillian's boob, I mean toes. "Daddy was this close, it was like eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh," Tanner P says showing that sucking on toes can be like eating corn on the cob.

Robby and Jillian are hanging out together for some alone time. She tells him that he had the best kiss of the day. The guys start whistling and screaming from the hot tub.
Brad couldn't believe that Robby was kissing Jillian. Really Brad? Why is that? Did you not know that you're on The Bachelorette and the point is to make-out and get drunk? Robby gets the rose on the date. She practically drowns Kiptyn in the hot tub to hand the rose over to Robby.

Jillian has one last surprise for the group - she has what they filmed today displayed for them all to watch. Reid's bummed he didn't get the rose. He reminds me of someone - maybe a cross between Kevin Arnold's older brother in The Wonder Years and Jim from The Office. He's cute, maybe the dark horse along with Robby in this "competition."

When they replay the whole "no matter happens, I'm going to marry you," from Robby, Juan is staring into Jillian's eyes as they watch the recap, in a way that he's demanding to know why she kissed anybody else. Creepy.

Sasha preps for his one on one date. Ben Stiller could totally play him in the movie. Sasha's hair is a little out of control. Kiptyn is hanging around the house shirtless while Sasha waits for Jillian to arrive and he's got the most ridiculous six pack of all time. If I showed up for a date with Sasha and saw Kiptyn looking like that, I'd probably ask Kiptyn to join us.

Jillian takes him to a car museum - wow, I hope he likes cars, because otherwise that could be really awkward. But even stranger and more random than a car museum date is the fact that there happen to be cameras all around - and wait! Sasha is all of a sudden a photographer. He starts clicking away - taking shots of Jills on the cars and then of the two of them together. He says it's "really sexy," but not being a car person (I live in Manhattan and it's probably more expensive to keep a car here than rent an apartment), I don't think I really get it. Anyhow, they go to the roof, of the car museum (this episode is all about roof tops) and get to choose between cars to drive around in. He picks a silver Ferarri and turns out he's a driving maniac. Jillian is screaming like a mad woman. This is starting to look like the scene from Pretty Woman where Richard Gere drives Stucky's car, gets lost, find Julia Roberts on the street and takes her for a ride.

Sasha reveals a story about a car accident that almost left him paralyzed when he was 18. This makes Jillian feel something for him - as she says she wants someone that has been through some sort of storm/struggle. Apparently this struggle was not enough for her because he doesn't get the rose. Jillian claims it's because Sasha says he's looking for "a unicorn," and has never really been in love - maybe it's because of his strange up hairdo with his bangs he has going on. Understandably, this worries Jillian. I'm on the fence about Sasha. I don't think he's as physically attractive as Ed, Jake, Reid, Robby or Kiptyn, but he's not a bad guy.

Back in the bunk, Wes starts playing his song for Jillian on the guitar. The other guys are watching (and yawning if you're Michael). Reid has some guitar skills too. Tanner P Foot Fetish makes fun of the Guitar Boys, but secretly wishes he had SOMETHING to set him apart. Guess what, Tanner P? You DO! You've got a foot fetish. And Jillian knows about it and hasn't gone running for the hills yet - there might be hope for you!

Back on the date with Sasha, Jillian takes out the rose and then tells him she can't give it to him! Then she cries. And he has to go home on a city bus - which is probably worth crying about more than the fact that she didn't give him a rose. He actually is very nice about it. The boys start cheering that Sasha is gone when the crew comes to take his luggage away. Kind of a jerky move, but I guess that's what happens when you are bored and living with your competition for too long.

Meanwhile, when everyone is a sleep, Wes sneaks up to the house with his guitar and serenades Jillian from her balcony. She invites him to come "finish the song up on her balcony." It makes Jillian cry. Wes is loving his time alone with her. He plays it again - in case any country music producers are listening and he sings the same line over and over. "When they say loooooove, it don't come easy...."

Jillian is mesmerized. She's got the googly eyes. Oh, no.

In an upcoming preview, David wants to kill Juan and beat the #$!!*#%) out of him. Can we get this guy out of the house before he causes serious bodily harm to someone and ABC and Jillian get sued??

BTW, is anybody watching the ABC commercials they show during this episode? They basically have a house with a ton of the random characters from the some of the most popular ABC shows - Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives, The Nanny, and then Jillian rings the doorbell with either Michael or the other Tanner (can't really tell which one it is). Then a flood of other guys in suits holding roses come in after her. I noticed at least one Black guy amongst this crowd, so we now know the rest of the guys flooding in after Jillian were not the bachelors from the show - lest we forget - there's absolutely no diversity this season.

It's the Rose Ceremony Party and it's funny how we don't see any interaction between Jillian and Ed/Robby in the house. I think this means these two make it pretty far. Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a confessional in the house where the guys could talk about how they just hung out in Jillian's room for 5 hours and they are mesmerized? Why can't we know what's going on there?

Reid steals her for some one on one time. His hair is a little messy sexy and he's got great eyes. He asks her why he didn't get the rose last night. She goes to kiss him on the cheek and he turns it into a passionate one on the lips - there's even a cliche fire in the background blazing. Nice camera job!

Here's where Dave goes insane. Jillian comes in and takes Dave away. Not sure I'm that into her dress tonight. She's one of the few people that can actually wear a dress like that, but it looks like it needs to be flattened out and ironed. On their alone time, Dave basically tells her that he's jealous of the other guys and she should be humbled by his greatness. But then he starts in on the whole "there are other guys in the house that I don't think you would be a good fit for." Mid-sentence, Juan walks in and steals her away. Dave is super super pissed.

Juan comments on how she looks - and all of her clothes, boots and how awesome she looks in a "hoody and sweats." How many guys know what a hoody is?? Here's guessing that his closet at home is bigger than Jillian's. He then asks Jillian if she speaks Spanish. She says no, and that pretty much ends that conversation.

"Here's to real guys who actually takes their shots like a man" says Dave, referring to last week's event when Juan refused to take a shot with everybody (and this, for some reason, GREATLY offended Dave).

"I'm here to suck on some toes. And I'm here for Jillian," says Tanner P. Wow, that might be the best line of the night. He gets some alone time, and gets Jillian's feet on his lap. He wants to suck on them. And in his alone camera time, he imitates what it would be like to suck Jillian's toes. I think this is the second or third time he does that. Yes, it's definitely strange, but kind of amusing at the same time.

"I want to kiss 'em, suck 'em, touch 'em, rub 'em, feel 'em, tweeze 'em. I'm that in love with them." Ok, I lied. THAT was the best line of the night from Tanner P. At least he's not physically intimidating like Dave, or would love to take her shopping like Juan.

Dave is drunk and that means he starts cursing and obsessing about Juan. Ed is amused by it all. Brad sits down with Jillian and just says that "Dave is the scariest dude in the house."
So much drama at the party.

Jillian and Kiptyn finally have some one on one time. She tells him her fear that he's never been dumped. He tells her not to see that as a weakness - he is ready for it all. She says she gets butterflies around him. Uh-oh - who remembers when we last heard that expression?? It was MOLLY - saying that about Jason. Remember her song for him? "Jason, you give me butterflies..." Could this mean anything?

Dave gets more blitzed by the second and confronts Juan as to his intentions. Where is Wes during all of this? He's missing. Maybe he's playing songs for the other Tanner who seems to be missing too. The more surprising thing is that Robby follows Dave's rant by telling Juan that he agrees with everything Dave said. Woahhh. Not sure Robby needed to jump on that psychotic bandwagon. I mean given, Juan is laying it on way too thick and is extremely effeminate - that said, he's not a bad guy. He's got his eye on the prize and he's going for it.

Chris takes Jillian into the deliberation room and asks her about it. Does anybody else wish they could show Jillian clips of some of the stupid things the guys do in the bunk house? I think this would definitely help her decision. Jillian saw a side to David tonight that she's never seen before in him. Hopefully this will lead her to figure out that he's a mad man. She admits to having a strong connection with Kiptyn - but it's moving quicker on the physical side than relationship wise.

Juan has a lot of attributes that Jeremy had in the DeAnna season. He's into sweeping the bachelorette away when she's having alone time with someone else. He's hated by the rest of the guys and he has really dark hair and really white teeth. Maybe they are cousins.
It was reported that DeAnna and Jeremy recently hooked up in Las Vegas. I'm wondering whether this is a good sign for him down the road.

Jillian can only give out 11 roses. Here's the winners: Jake (didn't get much face time, but he's still clearly a front runner), Reid (dark horse), Mark (do we know anything about this guy?), Jesse (Reid look alike, again we know nothing about him), Tanner P (ok, she clearly doesn't care about the foot fetish), Wes (she wants to hear that song again), Juan (Dave's going to have a meltdown), Michael (it's like she's babysitting for him), Kiptyn (she's giddy just saying his name), Mike (New City boy makes it for another round!) With one rose left, Dave looks like he might pull out a gun from his pocket. Please don't kill her!!

Final rose goes to...DAVID. (Ok, he'll put the gun away for now). Leaving the bunk house are Tanner and Burberry Tie Brad. I actually chose these two to go home in the fantasy bachelorette league. Brad gives a really sad departure video - something about being a drifter.

Coming up on the Bachelorette - she takes the 13 remaining men to Vancouver and she finally gets some more alone time with Kiptyn. Looks like David might be digging his own grave. Finally someone reveals that there might be some contestants with girlfriends and Jillian's PISSED. I'm glad this is happening now and not when she's already down to the final 3 or 4.

What did you think about the show? Who do you see making it to the end? I'm calling the final four right now: Kiptyn, Reid, Ed and Robby. Do you agree?