The Bachelorette Takes Manhattan - With Her Tone Deaf Boyfriends

This week’s episode of The Bachelorette reminded me of why I still love this show. Just when you think you’ve seen every date, every crazy contestant, every, “I’m falling in love” starry eyed pursuer, something happens that changes it up all over again. From the time we learned this group was flying out to New York for the dates this week, we saw several original events unfold. Like the ability to perform in a Broadway show with only a couple of hours practice and the opportunity to nuzzle Ali’s bosom in front of hundreds of Broadway viewers while suspended in mid-air on wires. Or the decision to get a tattoo of a shield and heart to show a girl who is probably going to dump you in the next week or so that you are sincere about “protecting and guarding her heart.” And let’s not forget, we were able to witness two spontaneous live amateur musical performances for Ali, both of which sent me into convulsions of hysterical laughter for several minutes based on how out of place and awkward they were. Man, do I love this show.

I actually left my college sorority reunion so I could watch this week's show and blog about it.  There are not many times in life when I can leave a social function with the excuse of, "Sorry, I have to leave. The Bachelorette is on." Strangely enough, my friends understood. 

Not to take away my love for The Husband, which could never be touched - but I think I have a huge crush on Chris L.  I know I am not alone - my iPhone lit up with text messages and emails of many of my friends declaring the same thing.  We are his groupies.  In fact, if Ali does end up with him, we will be secretly heartbroken.  If she doesn't end up with him, we for sure have our next Bachelor and I know about 100 girls who would be first in line for the casting calls.  Chris L is the full package - good looking, smart, family oriented and funny.  But what I like best about him - is that he seems like someone we would be friends with already.  He's not someone you would expect to be on this show - he's just a real person, having a ball on a reality tv show.  But last night, we saw he might actually have an interest in Ali.  Sigh.  Another one bites the dust.

My friend Neha commented about Chris L: "I am obsessed. (My boyfriend) is jealous."

First things first. It was interesting to see the guys on their actual journey to New York. I often think that there is a ton of traveling on this show that is never shown. Especially when the fantasy dates are in places like New Zealand and the Caribbean, etc. It really looks like the guys get along quite well. I would have loved to be on that flight from LA to New York and hear the conversations that took place. I also found it interesting that this was one of the first times in Bachelorette history where we got a glimpse into the behind the scenes “primping” process that takes place before we see the finished Ali product. Ali says she’s most comfortable in sneakers, jeans and a big t-shirt, but she couldn’t get away with that in New York. Ali – take it from a New Yorker – I spent 85% of my weekends in a sports bra, leggings and my running shoes. Real New Yorkers are understated (at least that’s how I justify my sporty look).

Of course, this turned out to be one major plug for In Style magazine. The outfits chosen for her looked great, but in all honesty – nobody in New York would have any closet space to store such things. Although, I'm sure those outfits cost thousands of dollars, so the people wearing the clothes probably would have the space. It was funny that she had to bag most of the outfits and opt for pajamas, due to her cold. Side note: I love how In Style tried to pump Ali up by telling her that she was going to be in the same issue as a “stylish blonde,” and yet she was probably thinking, “Why wasn’t I the stylish blonde on the cover of the damn magazine? Move over Cameron Diaz!” Not sure if she was feigning enthusiasm, or what.

So we’re down to 11 this week, and once again there’s a group date, and 2 individual dates. I was absolutely shocked when we learned that Kasey got an individual date. Certainly she had to have wanted to take someone else. What about Kirk? What about that Chris N guy we know absolutely nothing about? Seriously – does Chris N speak English? Why does she pick him week after week and yet we know nothing at all about him? All we know is that she thought more of him than Jesse, the tall, hot stud who wants to milk cows, sings Lion King songs pretty well and misses his dogs. Was Jesse that much worse than Kasey?? Seriously??  I do have to give credit to Ali for keeping an open mind.  I mean clearly she's got at least four guys she's definitely into: Roberto, Kirk, Frank and Chris L.  She could have easily said - ok, my husband has to be one of those guys, the rest can go home...but she's taking it all very seriously.

Back to Kasey, though. So he’s never been to New York before. Some of you commented that Kasey may have a hearing problem or speech impediment and I should stop calling him Marblemouth. I have spoken to several of my speech pathologist friends and all of them are of the opinion that he most likely does not have either of these issues – he simply is a mumbler. But, I will take the high road here and not continue to refer to him as Marblemouth or Mumbler. Let’s call him Tattoo Bachelorette guy (thanks to Chris L for the suggestion). He may not have a hearing problem, but he is certainly tone deaf. 

One of my favorite lines of the night was Chris L’s take on Kasey’s feelings for Ali:

“I think Kasey closes his eyes, thinks of Ali and thinks of doves flying out behind her…Cupid hitting her with an arrow. Hearts floating around her head. Them in a meadow magically running toward each other with unicorns. I don’t see her as that kind of romanticized love. Not like unicorn love…”

Ahhh, does anyone else think that Chris L is one of the funniest bachelors to ever appear on this show? I love this guy! But back to Kasey’s date – yet another helicopter appears. Ali has surely kicked her fear of flying by now, no? It really is possible that Kasey believes they are actually in a Disney movie. I love how he says, “This is how I’m supposed to spend every day of my life…with her.” Yes, because most people spend every day flying around in helicopters and taking private tours of The Museum of Natural History with a beautiful girl who is way out of your league. Soak it up, Kase! He is in way deep. He’s making statements like, “This is where his love story begins. This is reality.” This is certainly not my reality!

The sun is going down. Ali and Kasey are sipping champagne together and having a romantic picnic. Then all of a sudden, totally unexpectedly, one of my favorite moments in Bachelorette history is upon us: Kasey’s impromptu, toned deaf and completely awkward love song to Ali. Perhaps if there was some music in the background or if he had any kind of musical ability - this would have been somewhat appropriate.  I mean, at least Hunter's songs had humor and Ty is actually talented.  But Kasey had neither, and it was a disaster.  What on earth inspired him to sing her a song out of the blue?  Actually, I felt like we were watching a really bad American Idol audition.  I have no idea what he actually sang to her because I was too busy trying to prevent the diet coke I was swallowing from snorting through my nose. The Husband and I were howling in laughter. I think the song was something about how he wanted a rose. Ah well, he gets an A+ for courage. I would have paid serious money to have seen Ali sent him home right there and then. It would have been the kind thing to do.  For a second, I thought Ali was trying to hold back from laughing. She says she found him a bit “cheesy,” which is so much of a kinder description than I would have used. Some of you may think Kasey’s gesture was sweet. I found it overindulgent (as Simon Cowell would say) and unnecessary.

This week’s dates were definitely the most interesting that we have seen (minus Chris L’s, but we didn’t get to see what they were supposed to have done). Having the entire Museum of Natural History to themselves is pretty awesome. Especially when Ali was running away from Kasey through the dinosaur exhibit with matching lanterns. I’m not sure if Ali was attracted to Kasey’s monkey noises or to him scaring the crap out of her near the Tyrannosaurus rex, but I was shocked that she didn’t send him home. In fact, I didn’t know there was an option of indecision on these dates, but she went for it.

Worst line of the night goes to Kasey: “I choose you. I hope that some day you choose me. I’m here to guard and protect your heart. Jump in. Stay a while.”

Ewwww. I almost gagged. Can Ali honestly be interested in this crap? And just as I’m questioning Ali’s sanity, Kasey starts up with his ridiculous singing again at the museum. Ali misinterprets scary awkwardness for insincerity. He’s being real, Ali – he’s just crazy! Kasey is so insulted that Ali didn’t buy his singing act that he eventually goes off and tattoos his wrist for her. If any of you all didn’t think he was crazy before, the tattoo had to have sealed the deal. I actually do feel kind of bad for him at this point, because he just has no idea how creepy or nuts he is. The only reason he received a rose this week is because he didn’t show Ali his tattoo. Jonathan the Weatherman actually saved him by interrupting their conversation just as Kasey was about to reveal it to her.  When this season is over let's hook him up with Michelle from last season.  These two would be a perfect match.

Just when you thought nothing could top Kasey’s singing, the group date is upon us and watching the guys in spandex on a Broadway stage learning choreography, was pretty cool. Frank is beyond thrilled to be back in the company of his love, but I find it stressful watching him because he is seriously going to have a heart attack from seeing Ali with his competition. Roberto’s cute dimples and sincere singing directly to Ali wins him a role in The Lion King with Ali. The guys are so jealous and spend the rest of the afternoon kicking themselves that they didn’t sing directly to Ali. As Kirk says, Roberto is “Rico Suave.” I like Kirk.

As I was watching Roberto and Ali dressed in Lion King costumes, practicing their act on stage together and putting his head in her cleavage, I couldn’t help but think how completely pissed Hunter must be somewhere watching all of this. These guys get a trip to New York and the chance to be on a Broadway stage. Even psychotic Kasey gets a private tour of one of the greatest museums in the world. Hunter? He gets a couple of burgers and hot dogs and the chance to wear an apron at Ali’s house. Not exactly a fair playing field here.

Watching Roberto with Ali on stage – you can see their connection is really strong. The guys can barely sit in their chairs watching the two of them together. During the nighttime portion of their date, Ali’s cold is picking up speed.

“We’ve got a high pressure system moving in,” says Roberto. He’s pretty funny too.

I was happy to see Ali take Frank aside and try to reassure him that he’s still in the game. This lit up Frank’s soul in a matter of seconds. As we already know however, the guy who gets the first date is always going to be forced to watch his lady out with other guys. And this initially strong connection is doomed to be repeatedly tested.

When Craig R is giving his song and dance to Ali about how his heart is 110% in this, Weatherman is watching them like a puma, with a little creepy smile on his face. He’s biding his time, waiting for the right moment.  Another highlight from last night: Jonathan approaches the two of them and asks for alone time with Ali and Craig R basically tells him to go take a hike. Classic. Weatherman retreats for now, but is proud that he took the initiative, whatever that means.

I loved that Kirk pulled Ali away and insisted that she go to bed. Smart move, Kirk. I also liked that he didn’t try to take advantage of her weakened state while they were alone together. He tucked her in and blew out all of the candles around her. He’s a good guy, this Kirk. I hope we get to see more of him.

And then we get to the part of the show which had me smiling ear to ear: Chris L’s date. It’s the poor guy’s birthday and I really thought his date was going to get canceled. Instead – he gets the opportunity to win the flu from Ali. I just wanted to hug him when he showed up with soup and flowers. What a nice guy! You can almost see the fireworks start flying between these two during their time together. If Ali is feeling like crap and she’s still feeling a connection with this guy, it must be strong. Also, before this one on one date, Chris L was pretty neutral about Ali. He probably just thought she’s a cute girl, but hadn’t had much time with her. I thought we could actually see his interest in her take on a real shape during their date. He might be in it to win it.  I think there was a lot of editing going on of their date, because I'm not really clear on how they went from sipping soup on the couch to cuddling in her bed, but it must have taken some intense conversation which we missed.

Once we see him lounging in bed with Ali, something clicks with these two and it’s evident – we finally have a real competitor to Roberto. Chris L has arrived! By the way, 230 Fifth Ave, the club that Ali takes Chris L to, is one of the snobbiest scenes in New York. It’s one of those places where if you’re not a supermodel and don’t have a $1500 handbag, you’re going to get the stink eye. It’s a good thing they had it all to themselves. Once Chris opened up about his mother, I think he had every woman in America and Canada falling for him. I loved that Ali called Chris L’s dad and you can tell Chris has a great relationship with his family, which Ali loves (who wouldn’t love that?). I think we are going to see a lot more rainbows in the episodes to come. I was so happy when he got the rose.  Once the Joshua Radin and choir act come on, Ali's disease miraculously disappears.  Chris L goes in for his first real kiss - and it's passionate!  As the Husband pointed out, "If you don't have the flu by the end of this episode, you're nobody."

Meanwhile, back at the loony bin, Kasey is missing. The guys want to put out an Amber alert. The whole “I want to protect and guard Ali’s heart,” is not only getting old – it’s creepy. There are much better ways to prove sincerity than tattooing a shield and a heart on your wrist. I can understand being a bit embarrassed by it, and calling it a burn, so I won’t give him too much crap for lying to the guys about it. It's probably one of the smarter things he did - until he told them the truth.  But making up a crazy story about going to the hospital for a burn, etc. is a bit strange, to say the least. How about rolling down your sleeve so nobody will notice your bandage?  My friend Amie had the following to say about him:

Ali needs to get ABC to pay for her bodyguard after the show is over because he is total stalker material.  Also I think his voice kind of sounds like Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock.

Final highlight from last night: Weatherman's last ditch effort to woo Ali with his voice and a guitar.  Poor guy.  I agree, he's definitely harmless, but oh so dorky.  Another favorite line from Jonathan, "I'm more of a singer/song writer..." Oh really, Jonathan?  So he does afterall have Hollywood in his eyes.  If only he had the talent!  Given, he was slightly better than Kasey, but only because he had a guitar with him.  I was cringing during this performance.  Ali actually looks intrigued, suprisingly.  Even more amazing than his performance is the fact that Weatherman honestly believes his singing/guitar playing has guaranteed him a rose.  In fact, he says, that the "skies are clearing.  Looks like sun in the forceast."  Not so much.  Some of my friends could not control their emotions about Weatherman and Kasey last night.  Here's what they had to say:

My friend Melissa's husband, Jim, apparently walked in while she watching the show only to witness Jonathan's serenade and had this to say: "This guy is a tool bag.  He's bad." 

My friend Nyieri, "Weatherman sounds like a d-bag. No?"

My friend Jennifer, "The Weatherman is pretty awful. Tattoo guy too!"

My friend Alana, "All that singing...and the tattoo - insanity!"

Kirk: "We need one more guy to play guitar in the house."

Watching the guys sit around prior to the rose ceremony, I have a couple of last observations:

1.  I still have no idea who Chris N is.

2.  Kasey is wasted and I'm not sure why he chose both an orange shirt and tie that matched his skin tone.

3.  I was waiting for Justin to tell Ali about Kasey's tattoo, but I guess nobody spilled the beans on this one.

4.  If I hear the phrase, "guard and protect her heart" one more time...  Did Ali ever ask Kasey to do this for her? 

5.  Kasey is smart enough to bring Ali Swedish fish, her favorite candy and smart enough to keep his mouth shut about his tattoo. But crazy cancels out the smart here.

Roses go to Kirk (hooray!), Craig R (ehhh), Chris N (who?), Roberto (of course), Justin (he was really sweaty and shiny last night), Ty (The Husband and I chanted for him to get a rose), and...KASEY??? 

Jesse didn't seem to bummed about going home.  Why should he? He got all expense paid trips to Vegas and New York, along with amazing seats to Lion King.  He certainly has nothing to complain about.  He'll be the biggest stud for acres and acres of farmland in his town when he gets home.
Jonathan's reaction to his rejection is awesome. He's surprised.  He doesn't know what he did wrong.  Ugh.  His facial expressions are priceless.  He lived through the storm and hopefully there are calmer seas ahead for him.  Definitely not as a singer/song writer, but hopefully some weather station somewhere is desperately in need of him. 

I can't wait for next week when we will be headed to Iceland.  Will we find out more about Chris N?  Does anyone really care?  Will Kasey reveal his tattoo?  Do you have a crush on Chris L? Or is Roberto more your type?  Who will be needing the ambulance that we have seen in previews?  Is Frank going to hold it together?  Let's hear your thoughts!

Some of my favorite pictures from this week:

Stormy with a Chance of Danger: Ali’s Weatherman Takes on Craig and His Hair

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This week’s Bachelorette had all the right ingredients: An incredible first date with Frank which included making out under the Hollywood sign, drama back at the Bachelor mansion and ABC editing errors.

I’ll start with the errors.  If you rewind your Tivos/DVRs from the rose ceremony, right before Ali hands out the last rose, ABC wants you to think that it will come down to a Craig M vs. Weatherman showdown.  The dramatic music kicks in and we watch them all sweat it out.  However, if you pay attention, you will notice in between dramatic group camera shots of the bachelors right before the last rose is handed out, that Jonathan the Weatherman is already wearing a rose.  Shocking! What does this mean?  He was NOT the last one to receive a rose as ABC wants you to think. Clearly they did this to build up the drama.  Several others of you out there pointed out this poor editing job, but I have to give credit to The Husband who noticed it right away.  If multiple people noticed it, ABC’s editing team should have picked it up.  Now we all know we're being manipulated.

Truthfully, I was hoping she would send both the Weatherman and Craig M home.  And seriously – she picked Marblemouth (Kasey), John C, and the Weatherman over adorable Chris H??? What could Chris H have possibly done other than look gorgeous, smile and say nice things to her that would have made Ali send him home?  We saw the guy say less than 5 words last night.   At least show us that he was dorky, or have Ali comment on why they didn’t have chemistry or SOMETHING.  He was far too good looking to go home this early.  It doesn’t make sense.  I'm putting his picture here one last time because he's so adorable and maybe he can be a candidate for the next Bachelor until we can figure out what's wrong with him from Ali's perspective.

As for Frank’s “amazing” date with Ali, my opinion of Frank definitely went up since last week.  I initially judged him as kind of a loser, a bit obnoxious and overly eager.  Now I think he’s just really enthusiastic and is definitely going to end up being a bit more into Ali than she is into him (with way too much time in between dates to think about her, miss her and obsess over her).  It was fun to see Ali being swarmed by people in Hollywood and how immediately comfortable her and Frank appeared to be with each other.  Frank definitely is a good sport considering the circus around him, so I give him that.  He also gets an A+ for enthusiasm, even when their car broke down and Ali said “Oh my G-d” about 30 times.  Frank’s favor with Ali started declining during his pre-rose ceremony discussion with Ali.  He missed her a lot since their date, became needy, and basically attacked her with kisses in front of the other guys.  Bad move.  He used the “g” word with Ali – since their date, he now thinks of her as his girlfriend and now he’s had to watch his girlfriend go out on dates with the rest.  Needy Frank.  Too needy.  Ali may find this puppy love cute for now, but it’s going to get annoying.

I was a bit confused about Frank’s glasses – at some points he was wearing them and at other times, they were neatly folded into his shirt.  Did he need them? Were they for show? Perhaps he was going for an aspiring screen writer look with the glasses and it wouldn’t surprise me if it turns out there was no prescription in the lenses.  I was surprised, however, by how into him Ali did appear to be.  The way she stared into his eyes, the way they made out teenage style on the hood of their rental vintage car overlooking the city and how she clearly expressed that she’s into his quirkiness – these are all clear indicators that Ali likes this guy.  The Husband thinks that Frank has the best personality of all the guys.  Ugh.  We don’t agree on this one.  Mind you that Ali had the first one on one date with Jake last season – they had an AMAZING time, and it landed her in the final four.  And also mind you – Jake had the first one on one date with Jillian during her Bachelorette season.  So what have we learned?  The guy/gal who gets the first one on one date will have an initial strong connection with the Bachelor/Bachelorette.  This connection will be strong enough to get the contestant past the initial rounds, but ultimately, it’s a long journey, with lots of other bumps (dates) in the way and overall, the stats are not good for a happy ending for this person.  Also, while it’s wonderful to be passionate about screen writing, moving to Paris for a couple months and quitting your job to pursue your dream – let us not forget, this guy lives with his parents. Ali is homeless right now (as we have heard), so this means their options are to move into his parents’ house after this is all over or to live on the streets in an undetermined geographical location.

The group date was ridiculous – putting them all in Speedos and watching them whine about it was kind of funny (especially Weatherman).  Ali was wearing a bathing suit cover up by Shoshanna – which was the same pattern as my rehearsal dinner dress (see below pics). Great taste, Ali!  Speaking of Ali, I thought her outfits, hair and make-up were much improved from last week.  She really looked her best in just jeans and a t-shirt.  I also loved her silver gown from the Jesse date as well as the ivory chiffon short dress from the rose ceremony.  They looked like Ken and Barbie.  These were much more “Ali,” than that scary black draped dress from last week.

So then there was the Jesse date.  There can be no denying Jesse’s good looks.  The guy is Prince Charming in a suit.  He’s the quintessential tall, dark and handsome dreamboat.  Whether this guy has anything going on upstairs, is another question.  He’s also only 24, as Craig M the Villain,  pointed out.  Ali seemed to have some difficulty in getting to know Jesse.  Perhaps this is because she took him on a complete fantasy date.  How on earth can you get to really know someone when you send a limo for them, charter a private jet to fly off to Vegas with them, get private access to a luxury hotel pool, club and suite and then get a private concert with that person?  Jesse does not seem to be the affectionate type which Ali needs.  If you notice the body language between them on the plane – Ali claims to be terrified of flying, and she is constantly trying to grab Jesse’s arm.  If Jesse was remotely interested in Ali or had a half a brain, he would capitalize on this opportunity to comfort Ali. He could have put his arms around her, held her hand, whispered sweet nothings into her ear.  But he doesn’t do any of this.  He simply grabs his water bottle between his legs and smiles.  I’m not sure this guy is what Ali is looking for.  He’d be an awesome Bachelor 2015 – he just needs a few years to cook.  Also, he’s a small town man, but I’m wondering whether he knows how gorgeous he is and if so, whether Ali is another notch on his belt or whether he is actually interested in marriage.  We didn’t learn much about his thoughts on marriage and Ali, except that he was “with a hot girl in a hot car,” and he seemed to be attracted to the fact that she didn’t have any fear in driving the red convertible Ferrari fast on the way to Vegas while screaming and throwing her arms in the air.   Right now, I’m thinking Jesse is a little dull once you get past his looks and definitely not marriage minded.  My opinion of him would have grown if he just finger flicked Craig M in the forehead after being dissed by him. 

While I hate to spend any more time on the incredibly annoying Weatherman vs. Craig M saga than was shown last night, there were some comical scenes.  Ali’s confrontation of Craig M after Weatherman wasted no time in warning Ali about Craig, was awesome.  The Husband took a few shots of Craig’s facial expressions, which were quite priceless and was kind enough to film this clip, which we could not stop watching over and over.  It's funnier the more you watch it: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNN4WnTaxWU&feature=player_embedded

Ali could not have been more clear that she was confused as to Craig’s interest in her.  Instead of reassuring her or defending himself against claims of being “dangerous,” he is almost speechless.  These are all from last night's conversation with Ali.  Ali’s expression during her conversation with Craig is priceless – you can almost immediately tell that she’s done with this guy.  Which is a big relief.  He was one small bully.  Given, we only heard the Weatherman’s point of view on Craig M.  I was actually wondering whether we’d hear things from Craig M’s perspective as well.  They made Craig seem like the biggest villain of all time on the show – and yet some of the things may have been justified.  For example, the Weatherman’s white jacket was absurd.  It really was like he thought there’d be an opportunity to impersonate Michael Jackson.  Yes, it wasn’t nice of Craig M to put on the Weatherman’s clothes and walk around the house making fun of him, but Weatherman made it very clear before this that he didn’t like Craig M.  Also, my inside sources, who personally know the Weatherman, had this to say about him:

He can easily get on your nerves. He was a bit of a wanna be player back in the day and he thinks he has more "game" than he really does. (which is why I think he's harmless) However, the fact that he left his weather job which I am sure he was making well into 6 figures... to go on this show is ludicrous and suspicious. Personally, I think he is just there to get his name out there and jump into the entertainment business.

That being said, he is very funny and smart and he is not a (jerk) like Craig (the hair guy w/the horrible tie?).

In any event, I’m not sure that we saw both sides of the story, and you’d think that if Craig M was so offensive, that more of the guys in the house would have had a big problem with him as well.  The most we heard was that Craig M was annoyed that he’d have take another day off from work.  Clearly he came on this show to party, nothing more.  It looks like he got a nice week’s vacation out of it. Now he can go back to the clubs in Toronto and pick up some nice women to share hair products with.

We saw very little of Hunter and Chris L last night.  I was at a barbecue for my floor hockey team and one of the guys on my team knows someone who knows someone who is best friends with Hunter.  Sounds like Hunter is a stand up guy.  Interestingly, I learned that the guys in the house got along really well.  Too well.  Rumor has it that the producers needed to fabricate drama amongst the men because it was becoming too much like a frat love fest.  Not sure if this applied to the Weatherman vs. Craig M. showdown, but now that Craig M is gone, it will be interesting to see what other drama unfolds and how authentic it feels.  As for Chris L, I’m still a big fan and am glad to see that Ali seemed to have felt strongly enough about him and Roberto that she didn’t pick them for dates this week.

Roberto melted my heart when he took out those baseball gloves.  As a softball player myself, the fact

that he was a pitcher recruited by the Rockies would have sold me.  How awesome that he brought TWO gloves so they could both play and kudos for Ali for throwing a knuckle ball.   I know initially I had my doubts as to whether Roberto could advance far given the fact that he’s Latin, and any person with any kind of ethnicity has never made it far (Jewish folk aside).  Now that I’ve had two episodes of Roberto, I think he’ll do just fine.  Ali can’t stop blushing when she’s around him and although these two have had absolutely no substantive conversations about marriage, life, etc. – there is clearly a strong attraction on her part.  

Ty’s guitar and singing this week were pretty spectacular.  It did seem ridiculous that he broke this out on a group date, but Ali ate it up.  He actually was really good – too good: let’s hope we don’t have another Wes on our hands.  Let us not forget that Ty was in a Kelly Pickler music video, so he has some aspirations in the country music professional world.  Watching Ali’s facial expressions is really funny, especially when someone is telling her that he is divorced.  She seemed to take it ok, but you have to wonder whether she’s completely comfortable with it.  I’m thinking she will dig a bit deeper on this topic down the road.

There also seemed to be a bit of feuding between Craig R the lawyer and Justin Rated-R.  I still can’t get a read on these two.  Craig R likes to interrogate people in the house, which makes sense given his profession.  He also seems to prefer the Socratic method of teaching.  In other words, he asks questions to instigate people’s thoughts.  Example: Why would an entertainment wrestler come on the show if he didn’t want to advance his career?  Why would he initially tell us that he does something else for a living and fail to mention that he was a professional wrestler?  As Craig M is whining about Rated-R, The Husband yells at the TV, “Why can’t you just let Ali decide?  Worry about yourself.”  I’m really starting to think that Justin’s crutches are for a fake injury.  He’s a little too insistent that his intentions with Ali are sincere.  Can’t decide what I think about Rated-R.  I think Ali’s chances of finding love would be a lot healthier if she ditched the drama, and that would mean sending Craig R, Rated-R and the Weatherman home. 

Random thought: Does anybody think that the profile shadowed screenshot of Ali that is being used in between segments of the show looks very much like Ariel from The Little Mermaid?  Is Ali supposed to be mermaid?

Some of the best quotes from last night:

Craig M to Jesse: “You’re a good looking guy, but that’s it…you’re such a young punk. How old are you?”

Chris L (while all the drama amongst the guys is going on at the house): “I’m just gonna keep my eye on the prize.”

Frank discussing his time in Paris with Ali:
Ali: So you lived in Paris?
Frank: Yes, for a couple of months.
Ali: Do you speak French?
Frank: No.

Unknown Bachelor to Craig M. during the calendar photo shoot: Craig, how’s the hair?

Tyler V (who had the WORST hive or blotchy patch on his forehead during the rose ceremony of all time) upon putting on his Speedo for the calendar photo shoot: “My mom is going to love this.”

Kirk: “Craig has a perverted smile on his face (during photoshoot)…he likes to stick out his butt…he would have been comfortable being completely naked.”

Weatherman about Craig M: “He’s poison to the house.  The dude is out of his mind.  He’s a category six a!!hole which is off the charts.”  The Weatherman also mentions that he’s a brown belt in martial arts which he’s not afraid to use.  

When Ali has alone time with the Weatherman right before he warns her about Craig M, she very quickly glances at his white Michael Jackson 80s jacket.  Go back to your Tivo/DVR and look for her split second judging glance at it.  It’s AMAZING.  She is saying in her head, “Could I really see myself marrying a guy who would wear this white jacket?  Keep an open mind, Ali.  Keep an open mind.”

Craig M to Weatherman: “Did (Ali) see your shoes?”

I’d quote Marblemouth (Kasey) here, if I could understand a single word that he said last night.  Since I can’t, I won’t.

Jesse to Ali upon eating oysters: “If these didn’t have lemon in them, they’d taste like #($@!!”

The Husband to Stacey B during Ali’s slow dance with Jesse which Stacey B wants to fast forward: “You want to fast forward this?  But they may kiss!!”  Moments later when Ali’s face is buried in Jesse’s mouth, The Husband can’t contain himself and blurts out, “They’re KISSING!!!”

Roses go to Marblemouth, Hunter, Roberto, Chris L, Justin, Steve, Kirk, John C, Craig R, Chris N and the Weatherman (though not in that order).  Frank, Ty and Jesse already received roses. 

As for next week, there are a lot of big questions: Will we get to see more of the hunks (Roberto and Chris L)?  Will we learn anything at all about John C and Chris N (and will anybody care if we don’t)?  Is more bad weather brewing between the Weatherman and anyone else?  Will Craig R continue his cross examination of Rated-R?  Why is Rated-R crying next week? 

My favorites are still Chris L, Roberto, Hunter and Ty. 
Least favorites: Weatherman and Craig R.  The rest I’m still unsure of.

What did you think??  Let’s hear it!