The Men Tell All

Since tonight's episode was not an episode at all, I will make some brief comments, and then I want to hear yours.

It's The Men Tell All and before we actually see any of the men live, we get some pre-taped interviews with Jillian. Some of the funnier things of note:

-Ed actually has a ton of personality when he's drunk; They showed some footage of him in Vancouver being an inebriated fool, and actually - I think it worked in his advantage. Jillian was cracking up (although she was annoyed that he lifted her up in a short dress).

-Robby's good-bye on the train was actually an hour and a half because the train missed its stop and had to go backwards to leave him at the right place. As you may recall, poor Robby was not only dumped by Jillian after some one on one time, he was left on the side of the train tracks - in what looked like the wilderness.

-Reid can NOT hula dance at all, and watching the footage of him trying to do so, was really funny. No wonder ABC cut it :)

-Jillian digs Tanner's foot fetish. Wow, takes quite a woman to be so cool about it.

-The Kipper is a do-gooder, and volunteers with teenage children. He took Jills to where he volunteers during his hometown visit. Definitely brownie points here.

-Jill finally admits that Wes came on the show to promote his music, not for her. Next week, she will probably announce that Montreal is in Canada and that water cures thirst.

-Molly and Jason are still together and she returns with longer, darker hair and some sort of zit

on her chin. Maybe this what love does for you. They have been together now for 6 months. Molly and Tye are buddies now. Both say they love each other and that they would get married, but the next step is for Molly to move to Seattle. Jason uses this opportunity to plug his website, http://www.jasonsplace.com/ He also uses this opportunity to say that if what he ultimately did (aka, screwing over Melissa to go back to his second choice, Molly) caused Melissa's current happiness and Jillian's current happiness, then he's happy he did it. Wow, Jason is really a hero - did you know that?

-David has a beard and looks dirtier than ever. Noticeably absent from The Men Tell All: Wes, Reid (not able to make it due to "prior engagement...") Hmmmm - is that a play on words? Is it because he's ENGAGED?? Interesting choice of words, Chris.

-The other guys bash Jake's "perfect-ness." One guy said he wouldn't step on an ant.

-Robby is labeled as the group drunk.

-Wes is the most hated. The guys say he's there for his music. He has a girlfriend. "A country-singing turd," is one of the better things said about Wes.

-They said that Jake "pulled a Mesnick" - meaning a grown man leans over a railing and cries. Mark names 3 things that bother him about Jake (which were definitely things he prepared and said into a mirror at least 100 times before saying them on TV). Sasha tells him he's a phony. Poor Jake. They're a little too rough on him. Mike Stag is the only one that sticks up for him. He (Mike Stag) is so freakin' adorable. His momma would be proud of him.

-Dave has a lot to say about man code. Man code is an unspoken set of rules that you don't have to talk about. You don't sleep with your friend's girl. He does admit, however, that being on The Bachelorette is a violation of a man code. The guys didn't like that Juan faked a shot and pretended that his throat burned. This greatly offends Dave and Robby. Tanner P looks like he spent a lot of time in a tanning bed before coming on the show. Maybe he calls it the Tanner Bed. His forehead, cheeks and throat are orange and the rest of his face is pale.

-Dave gets the hot seat first of the guys and it's clear he made a great initial impression on Jillian. The more she gets to know him, however, the more uncomfortable he makes Jillian. His whole speech about her ass, was the end of it all. Dave can not believe that he made Jillian feel very uncomfortable. He then polls the audience in asking them if they would like it if a guy compliments their asses. A real crowd pleaser, that guy.

-Jake is next in the hot seat. He admits he was falling in love with Jillian. Jake also admits to never thinking about "man code" before telling Jillian that Wes had a girlfriend. He says he would do it again. The female audience members applaud this. The guys bash Jake's decision. Dave says that Jake "cried like a little girl..." while Robby defends Jake's actions.

One audience member asks Jake if he'd be willing to be the next Bachelor and the audience goes wild (hmmm, some early promotion on ABC's part? That would be pretty smart). Not sure that Jake has enough of an edge to make the show interesting enough. How would he ever reject anybody? Would he cry in between rose ceremonies? Not that there's anything wrong with male crying - I just don't know if he could stomach some of the rejection that's a natural part of the show. Jake's response to whether he'd be the next Bachelor - is that he's still very much "in this season" and it's a decision he'd have to make at the time. (My guess is he'd think about it for about .001 seconds before accepting).

Is anybody else watching the commercials? Why are there so many depression commercials? Are people who watch The Bachelorette a natural target for depression? Am I depressed?

I'm trying to get this blog post done before my friend Erika (who is visiting from Chicago) arrives at our apartment. I already warned her that I can't speak to her until after the show is over (how great of a hostess am I?). The Fiance is at the Yankees game, so I am flying solo tonight.

OK, back to the show. So Wes doesn't show, but that doesn't stop Chris from examining Wes and Jillian's relationship. After the brief recap of their relationship, the audience boos. It's like Jerry Springer on set. Apparently, Wes wrote his country songs for his girlfriend back home. Some of the guys think that Wes has genuine feels for Jillian, others disagree. Chris asks if there were any Wes supporters in the audience, and he couldn't find one person to speak. ABC did put together a music video featuring Wes - part music, part him admitting that he wants fame. No wonder he didn't show up tonight. Again, more booing from the audience over this video.

-Jillian comes out finally and confronts Dave about feeling uncomfortable by him. Dave apologizes. She specifically feels bad she let Mike Steinberg go so early and Mike Stagliano (Love the Mikes!)

- Jillian basically tells Jake that she didn't want to string him along. Ouch. Guess she wasn't interested.

-As for Wes, Jillian does believe she got played by him. Mike Stag has the nicest speech out of all of the guys. He basically tells Jillian that he is OK, and he's learned a lot about love and the kind of woman he wants to marry.

-Funny outtakes: "These guys keep getting hotter and harder..." says Jillian.

-The gas of the guys (Ed and Mike Stag); Jillian's fake orgasm from pepperoni.

Chris asks Jillian if she's happy. Her response: "I'm extremely happy." Thanks for that revealing answer. Is this going to be one of those "I chose myself" endings? Or will she pick Kiptyn (and his mother) or go for Ed? Who knows? Will Reid return and steal the show? What do you think?