Ding Dong, Michelle is Gone!

SI Photo Shoot

Some people need roses and chocolates to know they are loved on Valentine’s Day. Not me. The Husband shows his love in other gestures. Like last night. He made us an early dinner reservation so we could be back on the couch by 8:30 PM EST, ready to strike up Bach. My contact lenses were blurred by the two glasses of sangria I had at dinner (yes, I have no tolerance). The Husband went and found my eye glasses, cleaned them for me and threw out my disposable lenses. Is that love or what? My love for this man is endless.

I was very worried about the prospect of staying up for the 2 hour show, followed by a video review, followed by waiting for it to upload to YouTube, a mind numbing experience requiring technical expertise that’s beyond my brain power after 11:30 PM on a work day. We made most of this happen, but the YouTube upload didn’t go so well. We’re working on it. Hopefully by the time this posts, my IT department (which consists of The Husband) will have some success.

Can we discuss Anguilla? The Husband and I looked into staying there for our honeymoon last March as it’s supposed to have some of the most gorgeous beaches and resorts in the world. We even considered where they all stayed – CuisinArt Resort & Spa (is this the same company who makes all of those cool kitchen gadgets we registered for?).  Actually, if you have an extra $5000+ laying around this winter, click on the link above and go for The Bachelor package!  CuisinArt has the world's only resort hydroponic farm, which means it uses a soil-free growing process to produce what it calls the "freshest and healthiest vegetables and edible flowers in Anguilla."  The crop is harvested daily and is used in the resort's cuisine and spa treatments.  Interesting.  I wonder if the roses they used were from this farm?? Did you also know that Anguilla is pronounced like "vanilla?" This helpful info was provided by Chris H's blog. Phew.  I'm glad we can now resolve that point.  Speaking of expensive Anguilla resorts we can't afford, another place we checked out for honeymoon spot ideas (then rejected until we win the lottery) was Cap Juluca. This resort always wins out in every category of every travel magazine for Caribbean vacations.  But at $1000 + a night (at least during high season for the cheapest room), it was beyond our means.  The Bachelor must have some serious budget to get use of CuisinArt (Chris H noted that they got the whole resort rented out for their show.  Holy cow that must have been expensive!)  It looks like an absolutely gorgeous island.  BTW, did you notice those green drinks that the girls had all during the dates?  That was apparently the mojito special that is served by CuisinArt.  If you do get there, have one and tell us if it tastes as good as it looks.

As for the rapidly declining pool of future Mrs. Womacks, Emily for sure had this thing in the bag after her one on one date with Brad. For all of you avid Bachelor statisticians, we have never seen a Bachelor “break the rules” to tell a contestant that she is receiving a rose before a rose ceremony. So controversial! Not that this was a surprise. But at least that gave Emily the confidence and reassurance she needed to decide on whether to allow Brad to meet her little Ricky (The Husband thought Emily was talking about her ex fiance until I politely informed him that her daughter was named Ricky after her father. Yikes. That would otherwise be a rather awkward meeting). The way Brad kept trying to comfort Emily, the way he looked at her throughout their date and how he kissed her – is unlike the way he is with any of the other girls. The other girls seems to be chasing Brad.  But Brad is chasing Emily.  We could have skipped right to the final rose ceremony. But then this show does what it does best. It messes with us. And Shawntel, who I love, may be the dark horse here. Yes, she’s 25 and probably too good for Brad, but the way she carried herself throughout the date was flawless.

Personally speaking, I thought Shawntel’s date seemed the coolest, and the best way to get to know someone. Exploring Anguilla, its people, its culture, etc. and watching the way Shawntel owned the whole experience (I wonder whether Emily would have been too shy to enjoy a date like this), an important bond was formed. I love that she’s naturally gorgeous – with make up or without. I love that she keeps it real with him. He described their connection as “very natural” which is a good sign. We’ll have to see how he survives the hometown visit to her funeral home and whether when the sunsets and mojitos are removed and she returns to her profession of embalming corpses, whether he still finds their connection "natural." I absolutely loved watching them interact with the local Anguilla people – how she got right into a game of dominoes. I also loved that she got Brad to open up about his father (we haven’t seen him open like that with anyone else except Ashley H on their carnival date, not even to Emily). At times I felt like Shawntel may have been dominating the conversation (at least in contrast with Brad doing most of the talking on the Emily date – trying to pull information out of her). But then Brad commented that HE was the one blabbering. Not sure about that. When Bankie Banks, the most popular reggae singer in the Caribbean, showed up on their date and dozens of people trailed in to start a dance party (Chris H informs us that these were locals and members of the tourism board), Shawntel immediately led Brad to the dance floor. The Husband thought this was “hot.” Hmmm.  I learned from Chris H's blog that Shawntel and Brad's dinner took place at Dune Preserve, a little shack that hangs over the ocean and is actually Bankie's home.

BTW, did anyone notice Shawntel push a young woman out of the way so she could get onto the dance floor with Brad? Go back and check your TiVos/DVRs. It happens very quickly but the woman gives her a look which cracked me up. I don’t think anything was hotter than the impromptu moonlit ocean swim in the middle of the outdoor concert (love that Shawntel busted out the turquoise sequin string bikini which was hiding under her dinner clothes all along!). If I had her body, I would wear that thing to work.

As for Britt – she didn’t have a chance. She could easily be casted in a Disney movie – perhaps the Broadway version of that new Disney movie, “Tangled.” I think she’d make a kickass Rapunzel. Brad says he wishes she would open herself up to him but then when Britt pleads for more time, he refuses. So basically she had about 4 hours to “open up,” and because she didn’t confess her love and fireworks didn’t explode out of her boobs, he dumped her. Poor Britt. Emily and Shawntel are very tough acts to follow.  But Britt's young, she’s pretty and she needs to eat more of the things she writes about. Her thighs weren’t even close to touching when she was in that bikini. Not fair!

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition came out today (February 15th). As for the actual photo shoot date, Brad proved that he is 100% testosterone. At least he admitted the error of his ways in “getting too caught up” in the moment with Michelle. But that was a pretty dumb error. You’ve got Chantal who is dying to drop “I am in love with you” bombs to Brad at any given moment watching him plunge into Michelle’s cleavage and stick his tongue down her throat. How else is she supposed to feel? And how long did she keep her arm over her hair and cast that angry gaze on them? And then Brad has the nerve to give the rose to Ashley H. Let’s look at this another way. Brad has 3 women and 1 rose. He gives the rose to Ashley. Is Chantal supposed to think that she’s still his favorite or is she being punished because Brad knows her feelings already and feels secure that she’ll stick around with or without that rose? When she lost it at the end of their date, I thought it might be the end for her. Especially when Brad called off the need for a rose ceremony party. 

Thankfully Chris H was filling the role of the therapist by hearing Brad out and asking him if he needed a lifeline before making the final decision to cancel the rose ceremony party.  BTW, this was not the first time a Bachelor or Bachelorette has done this. I believe Ali did this last season and I think even Jake may have as well. I prefer this method – cutting to the chase. It also gives some reassurance to the other girls that Brad is not confused. He knows what he’s doing. Cutting Michelle out was the smartest thing he’s done since he’s been on the show. Not because I wouldn’t enjoy Michelle’s obnoxious comments for another couple of weeks, but because she stirs up too much trouble between Brad and the other girls. Her personality is too dominant and I think Brad was dead on when he said that ultimately, the attraction for her would fade and they’d be butting heads constantly.

Top Ten Highlights From Last Night’s Show:

1. The Chills? You know the girls are invested in this process when it's 85 degrees and humid out yet so many of them get the chills for various reasons. Example 1: Emily got the chills when someone read her date card, “3 things I’d bring to a deserted island: Champagne, a picnic lunch, Emily.” Example 2: Shawntel got the chills when Chris Harrison informs the ladies that there will be no rose ceremony party.

2. Brad’s Comment. The ladies are all in their bikinis hanging out poolside when Brad picks up Emily for their date. He says to them, “Everyone looks so nice,” as he walks off with her. That would be an appropriate comment if they were all dressed for the rose ceremony, but they are literally all in string bikinis. He might as well have been in a meat store looking for a thick, juicy steak.

3. Emily. Their date to Sandy Island looked incredibly romantic. I wonder if the helicopter freaked her out. Emily has a much more reserved personality than the rest of the girls and I think this might actually suit Brad better. He likes to take the lead around the ladies.  I am impressed with Emily that she is hesitant to allow her daughter to meet Brad. That sounds like a normal person’s reaction. It seems from the previews, however, that Brad was able to convince her to let him meet Ricky. Their kissing on this date is the most intense connection we’ve seen - I think probably stronger than with Chantal, particularly now that Chantal has confessed her love. Emily is still a challenge for Brad and still makes him nervous.

4. Brad’s Surprise to Shawntel. When Brad and Shawntel do the cheesy “it’s raining” kiss during dinner in the hut, Brad comments that he has one additional surprise. How many of you thought he was going to take her back to his room and show her something inappropriate? Oh wait, this is a family program. Nevermind.

5. Shawntel’s Falling In Love. That’s 2 down, 2 to go. I didn’t peg Shawntel as the “falling in love” type on this kind of a show, but she’s going down hard. Will be interesting to see how this all works out. Shawntel tells Brad this in a simple, smileless kind of way that she's falling in love with him.  She could have told him that she had decided to take a nap that afternoon or that Michelle had given all the ladies half French braids for their one on one dates.  It's all the same tone.

6. Michelle’s Blemish. This is very mean, but Michelle seems to have had an unfortunate big blemish directly between her eyes. It was hard to miss. And it seemed to really stand out when she was complaining about the other girls. By the rose ceremony she had done a serious make up job on it because it magically disappeared. Impressive.  I am totally giving her a call the next time my adult acne comes back.

7. Ashley’s Hair Extensions in the Sports Illustrated photo shoot. Spectacular – these along with the glowing tan they gave her made her look like a new person. She should definitely keep this look!  From the chest up, Chantal looked equally stunning.  There's a huge difference in how she looks with frizzy tropical hair and how she looks when dolled up for the camera or with straight hair.

8. Cliff Jumping. Did anyone else fear for Britt’s life when she was about to jump into the ocean? She looked too fragile to be able to jump very far and I was stressed. Worse than cracking her head open only to get dumped on a yacht and then motor boated back to the main island: confronting her roommates and telling them she’s going home. So awkward. Poor Britt. I was actually getting a bit seasick watching Brad and Britt eat dinner on the yacht. I’m glad he cut the date short. She’s 25. She’ll be fine.

9. Brad’s 2:07 AM wake-up call. It was awesome to see the girls caught off guard by their early wake up. Chantal looked atrocious. Michelle actually just smiled calmly. Always one with the camera that girl. Good for her.  Chantal claims she's not excited and that she feels like a "fat lard."  That seemed to change quickly, particularly when she agreed to go topless like Ashley.  What's up with these girls going topless? How awkward to go on a date with your boyfriend when his other girlfriend gets naked??  Watching Ashley and Chantal look on as Michelle and Brad rolled around on the beach together, you could feel their anger rising. I mean, if I had just gone topless and my love interest chose to make out in front of me with the dominating girl who didn't take her top off, I'd be pissed too.  I love how Brad thinks that this photo shoot would be the "ultimate fantasy date."  On what planet is he living??

10.  Michelle's Exit.  Ah, classy Michelle Money.  She may be the first bachelorette in history to get rejected and not say a single word to either The Bachelor or to the camera upon getting dumped.  Actually, she may be the first one to take a nap in the back seat of the limo.  I thought we might get a "Wes style" confession from her: that she couldn't care less, that she had a boyfriend back home, that she'd rip off her dress and have a t-shirt listing her modeling website address on it, etc.  Instead she remained silent.  I think she thought she was going all the way.  Don't believe she's heartbroken for one second.  She's just angry that she's not going to South Africa.  I can understand that. I was hoping she'd say she was excited to go home and see her daughter (at least for her daughter's sake).  Ah well.  The drama has left the show. 

There's going to be a lot more tears from here on out.  This may be the hottest final four in Bachelor history.  Though as my SWF told me (Scottish work friend) earlier today, I don't really get Brad's thing with Ashley.  I do see her as a kid sister type (as Ashley herself pointed out) compared with his intense connections with Emily and Shawntel.  Maybe I'm missing something.  I believe Ashley is the oldest of the remaining 4 ladies.  At least she has that going for her.

Til hometown visits. Have a great week!  I will leave you with this mystery: why is Emily crying in this photo that we keep seeing on some of the previews? Has this already taken place? (Note her braided hair which could only have been done by Michelle unless Michelle taught her how to do it or she had a stylist do it).  Is this a fakeout photo?  Quite the mystery! I don't remember Emily crying like this: