Molly and Jason's Wedding to be Televised

Wow - did you hear the news?

Molly and Jason's wedding will be televised on ABC on March 8th!!! This is just a few days before my own wedding. Maybe M & J will be on our honeymoon. Will you watch their wedding? And did you know that Trista and Ryan's wedding received an audience of 17.1 MILLION viewers?

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2010/01/bachelor-jason-and-molly-to-wed-on-abc-/1

There's Something They're Not Showing Us About Vienna

In an otherwise relatively average episode last night, there were some exciting highlights. I will say, however, that I miss Michelle and the Nanny. They totally could have done some really creepy things in the woods – sneaking into Jake’s tent uninvited, etc. I love how Jake is slashing girls left and right – and wonder why this has never been done before? Every woman on this show is expected to fall madly in love with The Bachelor and truly believe that he is the ONE for her. I never understood how this happens. Does ABC feed them a certain drug? Are they pumped with subliminal thoughts throughout the nights in the mansion? In any event, I'd like to congratulate Jake for being the first to kick girls out early, especially when he totally could have landed Ashleigh, Kathryn, Ella and let's face it, Michelle in a heartbeat - and probably all on the same night.

Last night’s episode got me wondering a bit too hard about Vienna. The girls really hate her. She’s like this season’s Wes, but worse – the girls can’t stand to be in the same room with her. Last week I wondered whether ABC was not showing us certain things about Vienna, wanting us to be in the dark so that we would perhaps remain neutral a bit longer. This week, I am convinced. What we currently see of Vienna is a googly eyed, bubbly girl who is overly smitten with her Jakey. How could she be so bad? She can’t help but speak in this soft baby voice within an inch from his face whenever she’s near him and this seems at contrast with her large personality. Certainly she's a bit irritating and not the most attractive girl, but is this enough to deserve the harsh criticism from the ladies of the house? Jessie, who we almost never see any footage of, goes out of her way to warn Jake about Vienna. Interestingly, in probably the only clear cut evidence we discover about Vienna last night, Vienna is a Daddy’s Girl – she crashes cars and her father writes the checks. We kind of knew she was well off when we saw her on the season premiere with her little dog, wearing a bikini and reminding us way too much of Prince Lorenzo’s season when that Blonde girl from Texas who wore tiaras all the time pranced around the house. (Off topic: didn’t she end up starting her own line of tiaras after the show?)

At one point Jake coaches Vienna into taking her outspokenness down a notch in the house so that the girls will hate her less. Later on in the show, Vienna wants to know whether Jake’s family and friends will like her, admitting that the girls in the house hate her. Now if Jake is remotely questioning his relationship with her, buzz words from Vienna like “your family” and “your friends” would send him running so fast in the other direction. But he still manages to give her a rose – despite Jessie’s warning and despite knowing that the other girls hate her. He’s asking for it. If ABC is hiding all the good stuff (Vienna has now been describes as a liar, deceiver, someone that is 110% wrong for Jake, someone that badmouths all the girls (though in her defense, they all bad mouth her too)), I’m really annoyed. I want to know all the annoying stuff she does so I can groan even more if/when Jake decides to pick her each week leading up to the end. Since it is evident that Vienna will go far on this show based on the fact that she’s still around despite all of this, I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the train wreck.

So this week’s “road trip” was all too familiar (with Jillian, the guys took a train ride with very similar dates lined up). The girls self split themselves (kudos to ABC for not putting enemies together and forcing us to watch unnecessary cat fights for the entire California coastline). They force Jake to ride his motorcycle the whole time - that must have gotten tiresome after about the first 60 miles. Ali’s definitely still bothering me this week. Her and Tenley’s feigned enthusiasm over getting onto a bus was simply annoying. It irked me when their mouths formed this “OMG” gesture – because really, who is that excited about knowing that you will be living out of a bus for the next week? It also appeared that 95% of the conversation on the Ali/Tenley bus revolved around how annoying Vienna is. I guess it made for some interesting conversation, but it really painted them in a negative light (which is perhaps what ABC is trying to accomplish. You can almost see the producers sitting around being like – well Vienna is annoying, but if we can make Ali and the rest of the girls seem catty and mean, then Vienna will seem like a better choice). In one particular scene, Ali said that she would volunteer to take the two on one date with Vienna and “take one for the team.” Tenley actually thanks her. This is a completely ludicrous statement because Ali has absolutely no decision making power on who gets what dates and certainly Ali is no saint for volunteering to do so. The Fiance found her very controlling this episode and said that ultimately her personality will not match Jake’s very well. He seems to need a nurturing, sweet type like Tenley.

Gia’s date in the vineyard was beyond ridiculous. I’m from New York and let me tell you – nobody with a shred of common sense (regardless of where they are from) would wear stilettos for a motorcycle ride or date on a vineyard. What was she thinking? I am glad she immediately took them off to go frolicking in the vineyard. I love how their game of hide and seek lasted 30 seconds - long enough for Jake to see her through a leaf (was she really hiding?) and carry her around. Then again, what else is there really to do in wine vineyard if you’re not on a tour and you’re not working there? I’m guessing SPUD was out of the question, so hide and seek is probably a fair option despite the lack of hiding spots. The two advance to more grown up games like spin the bottle, which is also completely ridiculous. Jake, don’t you know the whole thrill of spin the bottle is not knowing who it will land on? I mean, if you’re playing with one other person, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to make out with her. Then again, I guess it’s kind of awkward to just start making out for no reason. And I did like the fact that these two both self admit to being nerds growing up. Gia is definitely attractive (except when she wears that horrible bright red lipstick and looks kind of clownish or trampy) and might be a good person to share Jake’s inner dork with. She did, however, seem down to earth and have a warm personality once we got passed her thick accent.

I love when Jake asks Gia what she wants at the end of this process and Gia says, “In the end it would be you and I and we’d be engaged and be engaged for a while.” This boggles my mind - and yet simultaneously proves once again why this is the most entertaining show on television. This is their first one on one date and miraculously, she is ready to be engaged. Of course maybe she’s talking in hypotheticals, which is the only sensible thing to guess here. When Gia starts telling Jake that she wants to have 2 kids and adopt a little girl from China, Jake starts rubbing his face. When The Fiance starts doing that, it means he’s stressed and I can only imagine what must be running through Jake’s head. Long term, I don’t see these two working out. Gia is way too concerned with her hair and lipstick and while Jake appreciates these things, I don’t think they are a solid foundation for a relationship. After Gia accepts the rose, we have reason to celebrate: the On the Wings of Love music is back! The piano version!! Who knew there were so many different versions?!

Did anybody else notice how much scenery was incorporated into last night’s show? I guess they had some time to fill since the only story line of the show is that Vienna sucks and Jake still likes her. I’d say a good 20% of the shots last night were dedicated to the California coast, the great outdoors and Jake riding his motorcycle like the rugged man he is. They were definitely beautiful – but also evidenced that there wasn’t much else going on this week.

I found some of Jake’s conversations with the girls awkward last night. Especially the part when the girls arrive at the camp sites and he says to them all: “Do you like camping…nature is such a big part of my life” giggle giggle. Awkward. To balance this, they soon show Jake shaving with an electric razor in the woods, a button down shirt exposing his tanned perfect abs. I can forgive the awkwardness temporarily.

So the former Mr. Dateless makes some big moves this episode. He gets Gia to fall in love. The whole dune buggy date seemed insane. The girls pretend they thrive off of being dirty. I didn't really get the sand surfing thing (definitely a California thing), but it looked kind of fun. Corrie seems to bond with him a bit, but doesn’t open enough for Jake. Corrie seems relatively normal, but I’m still not over her mean comedy act from last week, plus the fact that we haven’t seen much of her to this point means she’s headed nowhere fast on this show.

One of my favorite scenes from last night was Jake’s alone time with Ashleigh on the group date. She’s basically wearing a dress with no bottom, thighs exposed, throwing herself at Jake – and he couldn’t look more uncomfortable. The Fiance was squirming watching them, because it was palpable just how uninterested Jake was in her. They had absolutely nothing to talk about. Ashleigh seems like a relatively smart girl – certainly a calmer type than Vienna, however, if Jake is going to prefer Vienna over Ashleigh, we can see why he’s still single.

And then there was the Ella vs. Kathryn match up. This is the most face time we’ve seen of Kathryn all season and I have to say – I liked her very much. I didn’t buy Jake’s speech to her about how she’s so beautiful that he wants to make sure it’s not just her beauty he’s wrapped up in and that he’s scared of being overwhelmed with her looks (is this for real?). I agreed with Kathryn in how she felt like a third wheel on the date because Jake did already have that one on one time with Ella and then he goes off with her first. He should have been spending a little extra effort getting to know Kathyrn. I whole heartedly applaud her effort for calling Jake out on ignoring her and not giving her sufficient time to get to know her. She’s no wallflower and some of what she said to Jake may be the smartest words that ever came from a contestant on this show. Once they have established that they are physically attracted to each other and Jake apologizes for making her feel like he’s not interested, Kathryn says, “Well let’s talk because really…we don’t have that much time!”

Ella laid it on a bit strong as to what she’s looking for (which mostly seemed to be mother/father related). I think this was too much for Jake. I loved, however, when Kathryn tried to interject her own thoughts and Ella just kept on talking right through and continued speaking, completely ignoring Kathryn.

I love how in Jake’s time with Kathryn, Jake promises that he won’t discredit the fact that they have only spent a little bit of time together – and yet that is exactly what he does by getting rid of her. He says he’s “scared” of opening up to her. This is crap. He’s just not that into her. Go read the book, Kathryn!

I like Jake’s speech to Ella when he lets her go. It’s respectful and to the point. I also liked that he took her outside to do the dumping rather than do it in front of Kathryn. It is kind of strange though, because Kathryn probably thought she was getting a rose while he dumped Ella. Good for him for not leading either girl on. I was a little surprised at Kathryn’s reaction – she seemed to have developed some strong feelings in their limited time together (probably a result of spending too much time with Ali and Tenley). Kathryn warns him that he’s making a mistake.

Ella’s upset too, but mentions that she’s surprised to be “let go this early in the GAME.” The game. That says it all – it’s a competition for her. I don’t see this really going anywhere between them regardless. A highlight of the show, however, is definitely once Jake finishes crying against his cabin once he ditches both girls. He takes the roses, the cameras follow him around looking very much in deep though and then he dramatically burns them. I couldn’t stop laughing at this point. Did they have him practice this? Were they like, “Jake, walk slower toward the fire, try to look confused and upset.”

If you're going to dump a girl, at least spell her name correctly. In Jake's blog this week on People.com, he keeps referring to "Katherine." If I were K, I'd be happy that Jake let me go as early as he did. If he doesn't know that you are Kathryn, he's not paying attention to details which really means he's not interested.

Why did the girls cry when they found out that not only Ella but Kathryn's bags were taken away as well? Shouldn't they be happy that they have 1 less person to compete against? Their chances just went up, actually. Ella and Kathryn seem like good people - sweet, fun, smart and well liked. Isn't it a good thing to watch your competition get the boot?

Ali’s obsession with Vienna’s downfall is getting to be too much. When she says she’ll throw up if Vienna gets a rose, that’s really unnecessary. We get it. You hate her. Now remember that you are not there to make lifelong friends, you’re there to find love – so stay focused and keep your mouth shut and perhaps you can keep an ounce of self respect. Even more annoying than Ali’s anger is Vienna’s reaction to Ali – like when Ali calls shotgun on the group date and Vienna’s response is “have your fun with him, cause I’m gonna marry him…” Are they 7 years old? It’s like they’re fighting over a doll.

One more point about the group date. Who came up with the concept of sand surfing? And rolling down the hill? There seems to be a common theme of playing children’s games this episode. But I guess that’s all part of seeing who is free spirited and who likes to get sand in their crotch.

Tenley’s alone time goes well – which is reinforced by her receiving the rose on the group date. Jakes wants to make sure that she’s over her ex husband and I’m not quite sure whether we clear that up. Personally, it concerns me as well. We do see, however, that she is over him enough to really want to make out with Jake. Good for her. These two have some good natural chemistry. Not sure how she and Ali can be BFF and still both be competing for the same guy.

In her alone time with Jake (which Vienna defers so that she can have the “last” alone time on the group date), Vienna starts whining about wanting Jake to herself. She’s talking sing songy like and it’s really irritating. Jake points out that she’s a little bit different around him than when she’s with the girls. He likes Vienna, but he’s been pumping the breaks based on what other girls are saying and he’s seeing some red flags, though he doesn’t describe what those are. He gave the rose to someone he “ignored at the beginning” (did he ignore Tenley? Didn’t she get the first impression rose on the first night after reading her top 10 list?) After giving Tenley the rose, Corrie looks like she’s going to kill him. Ashleigh is shocked that her thighs didn’t win the rose tonight. The girls think Tenley is too bubbly. Side note:

Some additional comments:

Why do Ella and Jessie have to wear super gooey pink lipstick?

Why does Tenley feel the need to tell Ella and Kathryn to “enjoy Jake, cause he really is a great guy.” Is this sincere?

Tenley loved pointing out to Ella that there is a 50/50 chance that she won’t come back. Then she laughs. Then she apologizes for laughing. Ditz.

So the rose ceremony takes place in a big white mansion. Ali is back to a yellow dress (does this mean she will be nicer?)

Corrie is wearing an 80s crimped dress and wants to know if Jake feels uneasy around her. I think she’s trying to flirt with him, but he doesn’t get it and answers her honestly. Chemistry is just not there in my opinion.

Ali’s speech to Jake, that she thinks what he did with Ella and Kathryn is “unbelievably honorable,” seems a bit designed. She wants to make it clear to Jake that she is falling for him and when she relays this information, Jake is all over it. I’m still really disappointed in Ali and her fall from the throne as a frontrunner. I had her marked as a light hearted, fun loving girl full of love, but her constant remarks about Vienna really bother me, despite the strong possibility that they’re true. FOCUS, Ali! Nobody likes a bad mouther. Of course Jake has only seen Ali’s sweet side so far, so maybe she’s hiding it well.

Her comment prior to the rose ceremony that she’d accept her “rose with dignity” but then have a stern talking to with Jake seemed like an outrageous comment. Can’t wait to see that conversation come off as care free and sweet.

And then came one of the most dramatic points of the night – Jake’s got two roses left and with three girls standing: Ashleigh, Jessie and Vienna, he gets tears in his eyes. There’s dramatic music playing in the background and all of a sudden you wonder whether Jake’s going to burst into more tears, run out of the house or wet his pants. He opts to leave the post and go find Chris Harrison. After blubbering to Chris about being confused, not knowing what to do, etc., Chris translates it pretty quickly: So what Jake is saying is that he realizes that Ashleigh’s strong pursuit of him (despite her self-proclamations that she would never throw herself at him) and Jessie’s scary green made up eyelids are not something he’d like to have for the next 60 years of his life. Chris comes back, gives a very eloquent speech and takes a rose away. The girls are once again shocked. Even more so when Vienna is revealed as his final choice. Deanna Pappas tweeted that this whole scene with Jake leaving the ceremony was scripted to provide the audience with an explanation of why Jake did what he did. Originally, I think Jake was going to only give out 1 of those two last roses and then say he was done – whereas it was more dramatic to have Jake wander off to find Chris – and cutting to various crew members with a wobbly camera. I bought it – it was a unique and thrilling insight into what goes on while Jake is handing out roses. I would say, however, that Chris finally is showing his purpose on the show. He always knows the right thing to say and he takes the show’s goal (finding true love) very seriously. A+ for Chris – seriously, I’m not sure that anyone other than Ryan Seacrest could pull off this role any better.

Side note: Interesting how Jake ignores Jessie’s intel– as wasn’t Jake the one who provided Jillian with intel that Wes had a girlfriend? He should know better than to ignore the words of wisdom. Then again, Jillian ended up choosing Wes the same week that Jake showed up to warn her – only to get rid of him an episode later. We can only hope that Jake gets to the bottom of things fast. I’m curious.

Ashleigh is beyond pissed that she’s not given a rose. It’s hard to determine whether she’s mad about losing Jake or whether she’s mad because he chose Vienna over her. Sounds like the latter.

So next week we’re on to San Francisco where it looks like Ali will be getting another solo date. This is awesome because I can’t wait to see how she bashes Vienna. Interestingly enough, it looks like Vienna may be getting some alone time of her own. Perhaps we will start to see a little bit more of why the girls absolutely hate Vienna. Or maybe we will only see the nasty things the girls say about her and how sad this makes Vienna, building sympathy for her. I think next week’s episode will be a turning point in how we view Vienna either way – which will also set up whether she really does make it to the end. How awesome would a Vienna/Ali finale be? They’d end up wrestling each other.

Overall, I give this episode a B+, mostly because I’m happy that Jake is slashing girls I knew he wouldn’t pick anyway earlier on. I still see Tenley, Ali and Vienna as front runners – although Gia seemed really cool once she stopped worrying about her hair, lipstick and shoes. What did you guys think?? What do you make of the Vienna/Ali sitch?

Six week countdown til The Fiance and me leave for our wedding. Thank you for all of your well wishes and support!! It’s been a nutty time for us but we are enjoying every second of this time period.

Let’s just hope that our wedding and the finale don’t overlap. Is it wrong to watch this show and blog during our honeymoon??

- Stacey B

What's Worse than Rozlyn?

Something that's a 10 on a scale from 1-10, says Jake. Apparently we haven't seen the worst or craziest or most scandalous event yet. That's kind of tough to believe, yet makes me very hopeful.

Here's the link. What do you think the scandalous event is? Jake's ex shows up? Reid shows up and proposes to one of the girls? Two of the women are having an affair with each other? Jake decides all these women are not for him and leaves the show in a limo? Nah, he'd just fly away or use his motorcycle.

Alright, let's hear your thoughts:

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/jake-pavelka-expect-horrible-event-worse-than-rozlyn-scandal-2010211

Episode 3: The Claws Are Out, The Crazies are Gone

It is when I watch an episode like last night's The Bachelor that I can honestly say that I am embarrassed to be part of the female species.

Chris Harrison said in his blog last week that last night’s episode would be the most thrilling yet. I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chris. It was one of the most painful episodes to watch – not just because every single woman on the show bothered me at one point, but because it showed just how mean and annoying these women were capable of being. If an alien came down to earth and judged women’s interactions based purely on last night’s episode, every last female on earth would be obliterated. On the bright side, I thought Jake handled himself really well last night, dealing with the Crazies. The Crazies being, Michelle and Elizabeth. More on them later.

Let’s take this chronologically. Vienna’s date with Jake was kind of confusing. He’s a pilot that’s scared of heights (is that physically possible?) and she also happens to be scared of heights. Did anyone else think she may have faked this fear to appear more vulnerable to Jake, and therefore more attractive? If I was taken up in a helicopter for the first time and then strapped to Jake about to jump off a bride AND I had a fear of heights, I would not have been as calm as Vienna. Yes, she claims that she freaked out and was crying, but truthfully, she was as peaceful as a dream compared to Jake. I thought he was going to have a mental break down and either a) throw up off the bridge or b) start crying over the bridge like he did in Jillian’s season. I do want to thank ABC for NOT playing On the Wings of Love while they were flying over California. You know they are saving it up for next week. Totally off topic, The Fiance and I were at JFK airport on Saturday morning this past weekend at around 7 AM and while I was waiting for my Starbucks coffee, that stupid song came on. Then it got stuck in my head all day long as I was boarding the plane, and yes, even as we were gliding above the clouds, it did seem appropriate to hum it. But enough!

Jake found Vienna to be very “nurturing.” I found her to be very similar to how Jake describes his mother. He’s definitely looking for someone to cradle him at night and tell him how hot his abs are on a regular basis, all while gazing into his eyes. And probably someone who has nice teeth, because Vienna has some of the nicest teeth I have seen on this show in a while. If we had just seen their date together, however, and did not see the rest of the episode, one might think that she is this outgoing, bubbly, spunky girl with tons of potential. The ladies, however, seem to have a serious opposition to her, saying that Vienna bad mouths the others, talks way too much about her date, etc. Yes, I think a lot of this trash talk from the ladies is jealousy and alcohol (not necessarily in that order), but I guess we’ll have to see what happens. The most annoying part that I found in Vienna was how her voice got 10 octaves higher after she kissed Jake mid-air and she talks about it to the camera. In her new soft voice, she says that this was the best day of life, oh wait no, it will be when she marries Jake. Wow, so after one date, she’s ready to marry the guy. Not a bad day’s work for the Pilot.

The Fiance wondered how they didn’t smack heads as they were jumping off the bridge and dangling in mid-air. I also didn’t like that Vienna was telling Ella how wonderful Ella’s date would be, because Jake would give Ella all of his attention and focus, etc. like Vienna is some sort of archaeological expert on the history of Jake’s hidden biological behaviors. It was pompous and unnecessary, though I don’t think Vienna did it out of spite; she is after all on “Cloud Jake.” The crying is a story in and of itself. If they played a highlight reel of all the crying in the house last night (every single girl cried), Vienna’s portion would include a) when she found out she got the one on one date; b) when she was fake “freaking out” about bungee jumping; c) when Jake came over with the rose on their date and gave it to her (he didn’t propose, Vienna, he just decided he likes your teeth, hair and nurturing ways); and d) when the girls do not accept her apology for bad mouthing them. Enough with the crying already. These women are staying in a mansion, with unlimited food, a gorgeous pool, competing for love. What on earth is there to cry about? We need some stronger women on this show!!

I truly felt that Vienna was making an effort to make peace with the ladies in the house when she gave that “I’m sorry I offended you” speech, especially when Formerly Sweet Ali (FSA) did not accept her apology and went on to berate her.

Let’s talk about Ali. I don’t want to say she did a complete 180, but that girl is definitely not as sweet and innocent as I thought last week. What happened to her cute yellow dresses and down to earth, relaxed personality? She had some of the nastiest comments last night, mostly about Vienna, but it was like some venom invaded her blood stream. I definitely had flashbacks of last season when Jake tried so desperately to recapture the magic he felt with Jillian on their first date, EVERY single time he saw Jillian after that and it never quite came back. Ali is moping around for the majority of the episode (except when she’s with Jake, in which case she lights up like a lightning bug), annoyed that she hasn’t gotten alone time with Jake despite their incredible first date (everyone is supposed to feel bad for her?!). What I don’t get about Ali is that she is extremely upset that Jake is going out on other one-on-one dates. She said at one point that she felt betrayed. How is this possible? Has she not seen the show before? Does she not know that the other girls she is living with are also competing for Jake or does she think that they are her sorority friends? It’s baffling how angry she gets. She also sticks it to Vienna multiple times throughout the show, including directly to Jake. You know a woman is in trouble if she has to bad mouth the other girls to the Bachelor. Let him figure it out for himself, Ali. Unless of course, she feels so insecure that her standing as the leading lady in the house is threatened, in which case, go ahead and attack (which she did). Ali also mentioned that she wasn’t upset that Jake went out with another girl solo (a lie), but that he chose Vienna to do this with AND that she came back with a rose. I think Ali peaked last week. In fact, if we could measure the progress of these ladies on a chart like the stock market, Ali would have a sharp decline following the spike last week.

Next was the group date to a Comedy Club. This had the potential to be one of the worst group dates in the history of the show. First, because Jake is not really the funny type. Second, because how on earth do you put these girls on a stage and expect them to perform when their primary talent stems from their appearance? Especially with no experience and no significant time to prepare? I have to say that given these circumstances, on the whole, the women were quite poised and even had a couple of funny things to say. Jessie was great, although we saw very little of her before and after her brief performance. Does she speak? I found Corrie’s imitation of each of the girls in the house to be quite mean. Sure, making fun of your competition may make you feel better about yourself, but how is it amusing to an audience that doesn’t know them? And if you’re going to do it, make sure the people you are talking about are actually present and can defend themselves, otherwise it’s just plain mean. Ali commended Corrie’s performance later, which again shows a bit more of a catty/negative side to Ali.

Alright so I can’t not write about her any longer. Let’s discuss Michelle. Is she not the BEST competitor we have ever seen on this show? Surely there is nobody more entertaining. First off, her facial expression when 1) she found out she didn’t get the one on one and 2) that she was forced to be part of the group date was priceless. I loved Michelle’s self-descriptions of how attractive she is, how much she wants a husband, how much her mother wants grandchildren, how she whines about this throughout the show constantly to anyone who comes within 10 feet of her. I found it quite sad, actually, because she has no idea what a desperate lunatic she sounds like. I hope someone sits her down after this show and finds her help. ABC should be responsible for picking up the pieces – maybe they can throw in a year of free therapy as a parting gift??

Michelle gets credit for some of the best lines of the season on last night’s show. The best one is when she describes how kissing Jake for the first time will be: “When I finally kiss Jake it will definitely be long and passionate , soft …crazy tongue in your mouth…going crazy with it…pulling hair or whatever ya know ripping the clothes off.” That is an exact quote. Almost as good as that description, is her stand-up routine. Nobody had any idea what she was talking about…no coconuts on the trees? What?! She’s waiting for the hole to get the one on one? If that didn’t send Jake running, not sure what will. Probably the highlight of the night is when Michelle finally gets her alone time with Jake. Their interaction was nothing short of a masterpiece. I couldn’t have scripted better dialogue.

Michelle to Jake: “I’m not over emotional or dramatic or anything like that. I’m honestly here for love. 100%. I honestly believe that I am the only one here for love. I truly want a husband.”

Jake: “I believe you.”

(I lost it at this point. Priceless). Jake handles her really well.
Michelle asks if she could kiss Jake. She then attacks his lips. They kiss briefly (and for some reason, every single girl watches from what looks like to be 5 feet away) and then he pulls away. Michelle says she wants something more than that. She is not satisfied with a peck. She wants hair pulling and probably to have her clothes ripped off in front of the other girls. When she doesn’t see this behavior from Jake, she’s outtie. Jake says, “I think it would be better if you did leave.” Good for Jake!! This is the first time in Bachelor history where a Bachelor has actually asked a girl to go before the rose ceremony (besides when there are two on one dates and 1 girl stays and one goes or if there’s a one on one and the Bach/Bachelorette decides to keep the rose). Actually, I am wondering why this hasn’t happened more often? You’ve got to think that if the Bachelor was on a group date, there must be at least one person who annoyed him/her or at least showed enough of himself/herself to eliminate him/her from being The One. Jake was very mature about this situation. He obviously realized that Michelle was part of the Crazy pack and took care of the situation. Might we see Michelle again? Will she be waiting for Jake in his bedroom when he gets home? I hope ABC has good security. Again, we didn’t see Michelle’s limo ride out of there. I’m sure that would have been entertaining.

Ashleigh’s crying at the comedy club date was a bit lame. Why do all of these girls cry when a little bit of a challenge is presented to them? It’s annoying. Kathryn’s on stage performance was clever. If you can’t be funny, at least force the Bachelor to make out with you. Smart. Tenley’s acrobatics were strange, yet I’m sure Jake found them appealing.

Speaking of Tenley, her confession to Jake was interesting. I’m sure Jake has been cheated on as well, and they are going to bond about that. Ten was pretty pissed that she didn’t get the rose on the group date after pouring her heart out. So Tenley is kind of like the house virgin (she’s only done it with her husband who cheated on her and left her). That’s pretty awful. They seem to have some good chemistry between them.

Ok, it’s Nanny Time. Again, I was very impressed with how Jake handled her. Elizabeth’s jokes on stage were completely nasty and at contrast with her “don’t kiss me until I’m the girl you want” declarations. I liked that Jake discussed this with her – saying that if it was for spiritual purposes, that’s fine. But that it didn’t seem like that was the case (correct). She teases him. I don’t even think Nanny knows she’s playing games. She wants him to work for things, but she is “dangling the kiss” in front of him. I agree with Jake that needs to figure herself out a bit more. And yes, she can get a date any night of the week (as she so modestly declares), but if she’s using the no-kiss strategy to get some control over the situation (a very accurate assessment by Jake), it’s not working. I was glad to see her go. I bet she is not rejected too often.

I am also confused about Gia. They replayed the clip of her conversation with Vienna and the whole, “YOU are calling ME out?” Gia says to her about 20 times. Vienna declares everyone in the house fake. I think the audience is missing something here. All of the girls have a very strong opinion about Vienna, but I just don’t see why. We don’t see Vienna bad mouthing the other girls. (Vienna refers to this as “being honest.”) Are we missing something? Is ABC editing this so we see Vienna as a victim to all the cattiness going on? It’s confusing. Gia even goes so far as to call Vienna “dangerous.” Annoying? Maybe. Going on about her date with Jake would definitely get annoying, however, that’s not a reason for every single member of the house to gang up on her. I’d like to see the B roll, please. What are we not seeing about Vienna?

Let’s discuss Ella’s date. Ella claims she is shocked that her son Ethan showed up at SeaWorld on her date. How is she shocked? Didn’t she watch Jason’s season of the Bachelor? Doesn’t she know that she is this season’s Stephanie? Another helicopter ride and lovey dovey Bachelor theme song music later, and there they are in SeaWorld when Ethan comes running out. Because it’s normal to introduce your son to a guy on your first date. It’s also normal to be able to visualize your date as your son’s father during the first date AND it’s completely normal to tell your date that you could definitely see yourself getting engaged to him. OH NO. What is wrong with these people? You’ve now been with each other for a few hours and you’re already throwing out words like “father” and “engagement?” This has disaster written all over it. Does anyone else think that Ella seems a lot older than Jake? Maybe it’s her accent, her maturity, or how she dresses, but I find Ella to be very motherly (I guess this is because she’s a mom). No wonder Jake is smitten. He loves the nurturing momma types. On the upside, Ella seems the most mature of the women there. She doesn’t join the anti-Vienna campaign that Ali is heading up.

The rose ceremony party was quite typical. Jake pulling up on his motorcycle (totally unnecessary to show that footage). Elizabeth asking Jake if he’s good at backrubs (Jake calls her the “Queen of Mixed Signals” – which I have decided is a much better occupation than “Nanny.”). Then Vienna comes in and breaks up their initial conversation, leaving Elizabeth in tears. She knows she’s done. As soon as Vienna comes out from her alone time with Jake, the girls attack her. “Did you interrupt Elizabeth’s alone time with Jake?!!” they demand of Vienna. Isn’t that the point? Don’t all of them interrupt each other’s alone time with Jake??

These women are CRAZY.

Roses go to: Gia, Corrie, Tenley, Ali, Jessie, Kathryn, and Ashleigh. Vienna and Ella already got theirs. Elizabeth thinks that she should have kissed him. Wrong. She’s just insane. She mentions to the camera, with tears, that she thought that Jake and her “were advancing as a couple.” Really? How so? She was thinking of newer, more inventive ways to suggest that Jake should want to kiss her but then really not kiss him? Valishia doesn’t seem too upset, but ends up crying in her camera interview, saying she’s used to things no going her way and other “woe is me” type things. Corrie looks absolutely miserable to be there (check out her facial expressions throughout the night.) Maybe she’s just bored to tears.

Overall, besides the Crazies being Crazy, this was a pretty vanilla episode. I don’t understand why the girls despise Vienna except if they are jealous which makes them petty. Besides Michelle’s insane comments that her family needs her to have babies and the Nanny’s crazy talk to Jake about their kissing problem, the most interesting thing on last night’s episode was how Jake handled the Crazies. It shows that he can take action to go outside the normal boundaries by suggesting to Michelle that she leave (go Jake!) and he has an intuitive sense of what a confused/manipulative type person the Nanny appears to be.

Next week appears to be more interesting – road trip. Gia looks like she’s getting some alone time but Ali and Tenley might be too much for Vienna to take. We’ll see what other exciting things ABC throws in (perhaps some footage of Michelle at her first counseling session??)

BTW, yes, I’ve heard the rumors about one of the girls being pregnant and a certain someone’s prediction of who is the ultimate “winner.” This blog will not reveal such information because I think the beauty of this show is not who “wins” or what rumors are actually true, it’s the entertainment of all the insanity that goes on in getting to the winner. Why ruin all the fun?

I am off to the airport, UK-bound. Hopefully, I can figure out how to use the wifi over there and can read your thoughts. Overall, I give this episode a B. Not higher because nothing much really happened besides terrible cattiness, but not lower because I loved the Michelle/Nanny scenes with Jake and his reaction to both of them. What did you think??

Stay Tuned...

Just landed after a 48 hour trip to Puerto Rico for wedding planning. I'm back in the city now, off to work tomorrow and then tomorrow night this time, I will be UK bound for a work trip. Not to worry, of course I watched The Bachelor and will post my blog before I leave tomorrow. One quick comment: The Crazies Were Out in Full Force tonight.

Your Personal Life is Nobody’s Business…Except When You Are On a Reality TV Show About Finding True Love

Last night’s episode of The Bachelor may have gone down as one of my favorite 5 episodes of all time. It’s up there with episodes like when Trista finally told Ryan that she loved him and saw “babies, etc.” in the finale of her monumental season as the first Bachelorette. It’s up there with episodes like when Shannon started crying, her nose started running, and she thought it would be a great time to go in for a kiss with Bachelor Jason. It’s up there with moments like when Natalie on the same season of the Bachelor started talking about how she likes bears on her one on one date with Jason in Las Vegas. Ahh, but that is in the past. We’re only on episode 2 of Jake’s season and already things are heating up.

There were moments of pure genius last night. I think there was an all time high record for the amount of ladies who cried in one show. It was the perfect blend of a horror movie (think Michelle), comedy (Christina’s comments while on the set of the In Style photo shoot), drama (Rozlyn’s face as Chris is saying things like, “A line was crossed” and her staring at him, with her speechless but beautiful face (would she not make a wonderful vampire in the Twilight Series?), tragedy (Vienna’s sob story about a rash decision to get married at age 18 and losing her daddy’s respect), Adventure (group date to Six Flags!) and Romance (Jake and Ali flying together and getting their own private concert on a huge field, slow dancing to Chicago’s “You’re the Inspiration” – one of the most steamy songs any of me or my sixth grade friends could hope to dance to back in the day. Yes, if they were handing out Oscars for best performances, last night’s show would have cleaned up.

Alright, so again – no recaps from me – they will be all over the Internet by the time I post this later tonight (it’s 7:20 AM and I’m en route to work again). I’m more interested in discussing some of the key moments from last night’s show and then hearing what your thoughts. Here we go:

Let’s stick Michelle in a padded room for 24 hours and see what happens. Is anybody else completely freaked out by her? ABC couldn’t have hired a better actress to “play” the part of the complete and utter psychotic pining girlfriend. I’d write more scary things about her except I’m worried she’s reading this and will come after me. I can already see her in the Women Tell All episode pleading her case. Talking about how intense the process was, how she really did fall for Jake, and that she was there with “honest” feelings for him. I can see her pale blue eyes flash and the tears welling up in her eyes as she says this – clearly she will be rejected soon. One of my favorite moments last night was when Vienna started impersonating Michelle. She said that Michelle was this complete lunatic during the day, threatening to leave, packing her bags, tearing up for not getting a date, etc. Then when Jake comes around, Michelle turns into this fun, outgoing, I’m-so-happy-to-be-here and I’m light hearted and care free. It was hysterical – and so dead on. If Vienna wasn’t dressed like a nurse from the 1700s at the rose ceremony party, I think she’d be one of my favorite girls right now.

But back to Michelle. She got angry at Jake for not wanting to spend time with her (uh, did she think this was a one on one dating show?) She should have also looked at who else Jake didn’t choose to go on a date with. There was Tenley (who got the first impression rose) too and Ella, the boxer mom who gives her kid’s favorite toys to strangers. The Bachelor usually chooses ladies that he is confident about as the ones he excludes from the first week’s dates. She should have been flattered. Clearly she has not seen this show before. Jake even tells Michelle when they get some alone time before the rose ceremony that he loved her “honesty” and even found the fact that she teared up endearing. Oh, Jake, now we know why you are single. You pick the wrong girls. You were ready to head to the altar with Rozzy after some cheap kisses on the rooftop of the LA Hotel just because you got swept up in making out with a supermodel despite the fact that she was having her own little fling in the off hours. Roz did not come on this show to fall in love. She came on the show to launch her modeling career and let’s face it, after last night’s episode – she’ll have a deal with Maxim in less than a month.

But let’s talk some more about Michelle. Didn’t you love that when Jake and Chris tell the ladies about the situation with Roz, Michelle is the first to blurt out that she “feels really sorry for him” in front of Jake? She plays the calm, sympathetic girl in daylight and the CRAZY I NEED TO BE MEDICATED GIRL when Jake is not around. I love the contrast. I also thought she was going to walk away with that diamond necklace when it showed up and she put it on, announcing that whoever puts the necklace on, gets the first date (ummm, yeah, nice try, Michelle). Did you see the glee on her face when she went running for the door any time the doorbell rang with a new clue? And did you see the immediate shift to NUTS when she found out that each date did not include her? She’s my favorite person to watch. I’m literally frightened for Jake every time she opens her mouth. If none of the girls knew about Roz’s fling (which definitely took place in the middle of the night), who knows what Michelle is up to when nobody is looking?!

Ali’s date with Jake. I love this girl. As Jake says, Ali is “the full package.” She’s cute, she couldn’t be happier to be on the show (Ok, it was kind of strange that she started crying when she found out that she got the one on one date, but I’ll just blame that on too much alcohol and having to listen to the crazies in the house go on and on about Jake. The anticipation must have gotten to her). “Come fly with me, Ali” – how romantic! Jake knew that she had a fear of flying and immediately decided that she would be the perfect person to take along for his first flying date (we knew it was just a matter of time before aviator Jake had a chance to woo the ladies with his jet skills). Ali comes out for the date, wearing the gorgeous Neil Lane diamond necklace (does she get to keep it? And how come her and Jake do not speak about it at all – is it a gift? A loaner? An accessory one usually wears when flying on airplanes? I’m a bit confused about it, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t wear it in a similar situation). Ali’s also a fan of the yellow dress – she wore a gorgeous chiffon canary yellow dress on opening night and last night, she’s in the same color – this time a satin, strapless, knee length dress with gold high heeled sandals. Her hair is loosely pulled back into a casual hair do, and you can see from the look on her face that she is thrilled beyond belief. I liked seeing one of Jake’s dates so completely elated to be with him. I never felt that kind of pure joy from Rozlyn or even hot nanny Elizabeth. Those two seem to be up to something at all times. Anyhow, Ali seems innocent, honest – and happy to be there. Another roll of the eyes moment – they are sailing above the city in the plane and first the music from Superman comes on followed by that damn song, “On the Wings of Love…” this time the non-instrumental version (which played last week) and you hear Ali say, “Just as the plane took off, so did our relationship.” Alright, cue the cheesy music. Don’t they have any other song about flying or love to play? How about Tom Petty’s, “Learning to Fly …” or “I Believe I Can Fly…” just something other than the cheeseball song (and playing it on 2 for 2 episodes doesn’t make it any more appealing).

As for their actual date – looks like fireworks are sparking up between these two. Ali is smitten. Jake is into her. It’s a good match. Their conversation didn’t seem too deep as the only thing we get to hear is how the name of every guy that Ali has ever dated starts with the letter “J.” But then there they are, after having driven through an open field in an old fashioned car with no roof, eating dinner outside when all of a sudden, they hear live music. And it’s Chicago!! I haven’t heard Chicago since 1989, when my cassette tape collection consisted of them, Vanilla Ice, Whitney Houston and Guns and Roses (when I liked a rebellious boy who wore their tshirts) but they are definitely a classic band. I loved when Ali and him go running up to the stage together – like kids. Did anybody else have flashbacks of Jake’s first date with Jillian – where they had their own private concert from a country music band? That was also an incredible first date – where Jake seemed like a shoe-in for the final 2. There was tons of chemistry between him and Jillian, and yet – that connection never seemed to grow. And each time Jake saw Jillian after that first date, he kept telling her how much fun he had on the first date, but really there was nothing for them to talk about after that. I really hope that is not the case here. Jake says that he, “has never felt this away before on a date.” Well, yeah, except maybe on his first date with Jillian.

Let’s talk about the In Style photo shoot group date. Did anyone else find this completely obnoxious? I mean – what happened to old fashioned getting to know someone over bowling and beer or ping pong and darts? Nope, we’re going to go to a place where Jake can take his shirt off multiple times during wardrobe changes and stare down each and every one of the girls as she shows off her physical attributes for all to see. What if one of these girls didn’t want to be in a photo shoot? Oh wait, that’s right, they’re all models. This is why I loved Christina – she acted like I would have on the set. I mean – compared to Rozlyn, Ashleigh from North Potomac and Gia, it’s impossible to feel secure. I loved Christina’s remarks throughout the day, “Can you make me taller with really big boobs?” she asks the camera person. Too bad her conversation with Jake later on didn’t go so well. Mostly because she was drunk. We all kind of knew in that moment, based on Jake’s comments about how he wished Christina wouldn’t have had so much to drink, that she was history. Too bad. She would have had some other really funny things to say. Some of my favorite moments from that date: (1) When Gia is trying to have a deep conversation with Jake alone, Ashleigh comes prancing out in nothing but a tiny black bikini and steals Jake away. She has absolutely nothing of substance to say to Jake, but he doesn’t seem to need conversation at this point. I felt there were multiple moments on last night’s episode where a lady would come over far before the conversation seemed ready to end with whoever Jake was speaking to at the moment. There must be some rule that if a girl comes over to speak to Jake, he must agree to it. You didn’t hear anybody asking for “1 more minute.” Even when Vienna was knee deep in her heartbreak story with tears in her eyes, she still got the boot. But back to the modeling date. I was glad to see the soap opera set date has made its disappearance (hooray!), but the photo model shoot was so ridiculous. It highlighted the girls who felt comfortable (Rozlyn, Gia, etc.) and left the more down to earth girls (Corrie, Christina) feeling kind of glum.

Can we take a moment to discuss Elizabeth the Nanny? I don’t know what to make of her. I cringed when she read that note to Jake. The Fiance says, “Why is she reading him an email face to face?” So she makes this big fuss about not wanting Jake to kiss her until he knows that she’s his wife. Which of course makes Jake want to kiss her because she’s Courtney Cox. But even though he can’t kiss her, we learn almost nothing about her. Why is she a nanny? Why did she move to LA from Nebraska to be a nanny? Would any woman in her right mind allow a nanny this hot in her home with her hubby and kids? So then we’re led to believe that Hot Nanny is a prude, until of course Jake gives her the rose on the group date, and then we see her tease him. “Do you want to kiss me?” she purrs at him. Uhhh, of course he does! But he kisses her forehead instead and she seems to like this. So what’s the deal here? We hear Elizabeth’s thinking at this point – she wants to control the situation. She wants Jake to pursue her. Is she playing a game? Is she a virgin? Does she have strong religious beliefs? Is she wearing a chastity belt? Her little teasing of Jake after she gets the rose seems at contrast with her innocent email. She was confusing, not intriguing. The other girls seemed very jealous. It was funny to see the girls that weren’t chosen back in the limo as fireworks were going off for Jake and Nanny. Nan’s comment to Vienna about how she didn’t use her time wisely was kind of mean. Not sure we’ve seen the true colors of this one. We need a nanny cam at all times!

The teacher, Ashley, who dressed up as a copilot last week and pranced around, was pretty intense this week. Her eyes bugged out every time she spoke about Jake. It didn’t seem like Jake was into her. She wins an A+ for most enthusiastic though.

Ok, now let’s talk about the main event. Rozlyn. She is still denying all over the place that she ever had a sexual relationship with the Bachelor staffer. But it’s not like she denied that anything happened when Chris confronted her. Chris, by the way, had his shining moment last night in confronting Roz. His speech to her was some of the best performing he has done in the history of this show. The Fiance and I were blown away. He was so calm and collected. Even when Rozlyn stared at him coldly, wondering what to say or do, Chris was polite, firm and to the point. And then of course, her only affirmative statement was that her “Personal life was nobody’s business.” Yes, Roz, that is usually the case. Except when you sign all those waivers to be on a reality tv show about a man searching for true love amongst 25 women. ABC owns your personal life. I wonder how they actually discovered that something occurred between Roz and crew member guy. Did the cameras spot them? Did somebody catch them? The girls in the house all seemed so shock and they had only been in the house for a week when this happened, so clearly she works quickly. Roz seems to be more upset about the fact that her 7 year old son would think poorly of her once he was old enough to hear about this. Don’t worry, Roz, there’s always Tiger Woods. And really, it’s not like you can blame poor Roz. She’s drop dead gorgeous, she’s locked up a house with all of these crazy ladies and at best – she’s lukewarm interested in Jake. Plus if he’s going around kissing all these other women, is there a rule that she can’t do the same? Her argument back to Chris was that some of the other women in the house were dating people at home or had love interests before their time on the show. Chris responds that yes, but that didn’t occur once they met Jake and fell in love. Ok, well then why didn’t Ed get kicked off the show? Wasn’t he sending sex text messages to ladies while he was on the show? It’s kind of confusing. But ultimately, perhaps Jake was really falling for Roz and ABC didn’t want to have their viewers disappointed with a romance gone awry. I really hope this train gets back on track. Another thing I just can’t get my mind around is why these ladies were all crying once Chris broke the news to them? I mean seriously – cry for joy – because one of your biggest competitors is gone, don’t cry for Jake. Tenley nearly lost it. I would be jumping for joy. It was interesting to see Roz’s reaction to all this. She was stone faced. She just packed up, no emotion, no talking, no nothing. They didn’t even let Jake confront her and have it out. I would have loved to see that! And they didn’t let us see Jake as he was getting himself together once Chris broke the news to him. What did he do? Did he cry? Lean over a railing? Go fly a plane? Take a motorcycle ride through the dessert to blow off steam? They should have shown us some more ab shots! Jake crying with his shirt off. We didn’t get any of this. By the way, did anybody else catch the evil music playing every time Rozlyn was in a scene? It’s like the producers were giving us some foreshadowing that Roz = evil seductress. Ahh, whatever, I wouldn’t feel too bad for her – she got what she wanted. A little smoochin’ with the Bachelor, a little smoochin’ with a TV staffer and the launch of her modeling career. Not bad for a week’s worth of work!

The Roz Gate Scandal is stimulating conversation amongst some of the most educated and well respected professionals that I know. A group of female lawyers in the Washington, DC area that I used to work with had some interesting things to say about this matter. Here were some of their reactions:

From Anna M: "I am dying for a fan to explain to me how the producers/host/Pilot guy could actually treat the woman (Roz) like she was a big ho-bag that cheated on him. HE'S DATING 20 (or whatever) WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME. Really? Seriously, how did they do that with a straight face. Did I miss something? For some reason, I find this particularly appalling."

From Kim O (in response to Anna M): "Anna, you're forgetting that they are all supposed to be in love with him. He's allowed to be in love with all 20 at once, but they are all supposed to be in a commited relationship with him from Day 1. (Don't worry, though, about gender discrimination - the reverse is also true on the Bachelorette - (Stacey B says: Great point, Kim!)). So the reason that all the other girls cried at this news was that they were terribly hurt by the prospect of an adulterer in their midst."

From Melissa M (also in response to Anna M): "They kicked her off because they said that she was not really available for Jake since she was having a relationship with a staffer. I think you're right about the double standard, but I also thought it was pretty slutty to hook up with some staffer on the show..."

From Anna M (in response to Melissa M): "Ok, now I'm mad at Melissa. She's not a slut because she made out with a guy who is not a bachelor. She's single and there to pretend to find love (who cares who it is!). I'm all for it. I hope they do fall in love, get married and have lots of babies (Stacey B adds: which would certainly be beautiful babies). That will make what? Two successful marriages courtesy of the show. I think ABC should be encouraging this!"

And there you have it. Commentary from some of the smartest people I know. This is like the Wolf Blitzer/CNN analysis of Bachelor talk, folks. You won't find intellectual, in depth discussions like this on any other website (or news show). Thanks for sharing your opinions, Ladies!

If you haven’t seen it already, you should definitely check out Chris the Host’s blog on EW. He explains in depth basically exactly what happened between Roz and the crew member. Basically, there was physical contact, other girls in the house saw it, the crew member himself came forward and confessed and apparently – Roz continued this relationship after she got the boot. So good for them. Maybe this is a good thing. Jake’s blog from last night’s show indicates that he feels “cheated on.” Yes, kind of absurd, but already in this little bubble of a Bachelor environment, you can see that there are some crazy feelings developing and Jake already had it bad for Roz. Chris wishes Roz well, and really, what is there to be mad about? For ABC it’s built up ratings. For the girls, it’s one less lady (and a very hot one) to compete against . Jake may be temporarily upset, but he’s still got some pretty solid options left.

And as a direct result of Rozlyn being kicked out (with no sad limousine commentary – she was probably dialing her crew member man from the road), one extra girl gets the rose. For now, that appears to be Kathryn, the cute blonde that we didn’t see too much of (except when she interrupted Michelle’s one on one time with Jake at the rose ceremony party). I liked Kathryn, but based on how little we’ve seen from her, not sure she’s going to make the next cut unless she steps it up a bit. Jake likes a little bit of crazy, and Kathryn seems way too normal.

Tenley also did not get a date this week, as we mentioned above. For some reason, I thought she looked much better this episode than last. Her baby voice is still kind of killing me, but she may actually be a very good match for Jake. Her and Ali are going to the end.

We didn’t see much of Valishia and Corrie this episode and yet both got roses. Perhaps between the two of them and Kathryn, one will get a single date with Jake and we’ll finally get to know a little more about them.

Random comments from throughout the second episodes:

I loved how all the girls stood around in their bikinis when Jake came to pick up a few of the girls for the second group date. Especially Christina – she just stood there like, “Hey check me out.”

Quote from Christina on finding out they are doing a photo shoot, “Rozlyn and Gia are professional models. I’d rather be taking a math test.”

Did Valishia say that she teaches Women’s Bible Studies at home? How did that come up?

Ella got the chance to bond with Jake during the one on one time. She’s another one that didn’t get to go on a date with Jake and yet she seemed pretty secure about it. I liked that he brought her a cupcake for her birthday, and yet for her actual birthday – he celebrated by not choosing her for a date.

Christina taking Jake aside during the nighttime pool party on their date and singing the Jaws theme because she was drunk.

I am not sure that there was a single girl in the house besides Rozlyn and Nanny that did not cry at some point during last night’s episode.

Michelle packing to leave because after realizing she will not have a date with jake, she labels herself the “nice girl that everybody hates.” Um, more like the crazy girl who spends more time crying than breathing.

Ashley saying that her and Jake have “being cheesy” in common.

Nanny telling Jake that she doesn’t want him to kiss her unless she’s the ONE. Then getting the rose and telling Jake that she’s a good kisser. Player!

Chris’s speech to Rozlyn: “You have entered into an inappropriate relationship with one of our staffers. That staffer is no longer with us…this is something that is taken very seriously. We feel that because of what’s happened it’s impossible for you to continue on the show.” Roz’s response? “She respects that.” Doesn’t sound like she’s denying anything!

Roses go to: Vienna, Gia, Tenley, Ella, Valishia, Corrie, Jessie (was she in this episode?), Ashleigh H, Michelle and Kathyrn. Christina cries again when she leaves.

Next week – Vienna gets a on one one and a blonde leaves.

Ok, I tried counting how many times crazy things happened, and it was an impossible task. Therefore, going forward, I’m just going to grade this episode.

I give tonight’s episode an A. No A+ because we didn’t see any commentary from Roz once she got the boot and there was no confrontation between Jake and her. I LOVED Chris’s speech to her, the girls’ reactions and the drama of course.

Now let’s hear what you thought!!

Get Ready For Roz's Secret To Come Out Tonight

Rumor has it, Rozlyn's secret affair with a Bachelor producer will not be so secret after tonight. Check out Jake's interview on how he feels cheated on.

http://www.wxyz.com/entertainment/entertainmenttonight/story/The-Bachelor-s-Jake-Pavelka-on-Being-Cheated-On/e9dAtSbCrEy54_HQ-EwUhw.cspx

My comments on tonight's show will be posted Tuesday evening, so check back then and please let us know what you thought!

Still recovering from an amazingly fun, freezing and exhausting weekend in NYC. The Fiance is back to watch with me tonight. I think he is as tired as I am. Ok - off for the train to work.

Big Weekend. Brrrrrrrrrr - it's Freezing!!

Hello, Bachelor Fans!! In the past 48 hours, I have seen about 13 talk shows commenting on this season of The Bachelor. Talk Soup highlighted Michelle's insanity, Channy's gross remarks, and Jake's abs in the shower. So basically, they stole my remarks. That's ok. Something about imitation and flattery.

I hope you all are staying warm this weekend. The weatherman said that over 90% of the country (which, according to Jake, includes Canada) has below freezing temperatures. That's crazy. Atlanta was 15 degrees! It snowed in Orlando and there was the Disney half-marathon/marathon there. In NYC, it's in the 20s and sunny. Like a spa day compared to some other places! What's it like where you are?

The Fiance is off to New Orleans for a pseudo bachelor party with some buddies of his. He called me yesterday while I was having a particularly busy work day, telling me that he had just consumed his first hurricane and was drunk. This was at about noon. Tough life that boy has! He went there hoping for somewhat warmer weather and as luck would have, it's one of the coldest weekends New Orleans has ever had on record!

Today, two of my out of town friends are coming to stay with me and tonight, we're going out with a small group for my own pseudo bachelorette party. Nobody will tell me where we're going or how to dress. This is the longest anybody has been able to keep a secret from me. I am very impressed.

Alright, better go enjoy the last few moments of quiet around here. Let me know what you all are doing this weekend and how you're staying warm.

Rozlyn Means "Little Rose" or "I'm Having an Affair with Bachelor Staff Guy"

Oh, Rozlyn. We knew you were too good to be true. Actually, we knew this was a very good possibility. I thought it would be you or the Nanny. I didn't know you were a mom, though. At least getting thrown off the show means you can go back to your son (and modeling career).

I think in some publications you are saying you did not have an affair. Hmmm. If that is not the case, that really stinks. Although, I'm not sure it would have worked out between you and Jake in the long run. I hope we get to see a picture of the Bachelor crew member!! I bet he was cute to attract a supermodel!! Best of luck!

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/she_was_booted_jD9V8rlJu8yzzQEpzzvKFK

The Bachelor Takes Flight: Comments on the Season Premiere

And so it begins. Thank you for allowing me to write about one of my favorite shows and for reading this blog. Thanks for your feedback, your encouragement and your interest. I thought long and hard about bagging this whole thing – with my job, 3 hour daily commute and our wedding less than 10 weeks, it would be much easier to come home and veg every Monday night. Instead, I feel this unexplainable obligation to blog on about this show. Even if it's 24 hours after the show aired. So here I go.

Can you believe another season of The Bachelor is upon us? Does anyone still have hope that this is going to be the most shocking season ever? Better question – did anybody think it was going to be the most shocking season ever, but immediately lost that hope once “On the Wings of Love,” the instrumental version, started playing in the background of the opening 5 minute profile of Jake the Pilot?

It’s 7:20 AM right now, and I am sitting on a commuter train, work bound. By the time I post this later tonight, there will be dozens of recaps floating around the Internet reflecting on the events of last night. For this reason, I will not recap, but rather, comment on some of the things that went on last night. Then I will go over the Jake the Bachelor score sheet from last night’s show, tally up the points and ask for your feedback as well. Here we go.

There’s no magic originality in last night’s opening. ABC played the pilot with great abs card as aggressively as possible. Jake is portrayed a Mr. Nice Guy Finishes Last/Mr. I Didn’t Become a Doctor and Only Became a Successful Commercial Pilot So My Parents Were Disappointed/ Mr. I Can’t Get a Second Date. This makes me wonder about Jake. If you’re that good looking (let’s face it, he’s a fine looking Dude, regardless of his somewhat square personality), and you are a pilot and you have a nice family and you have manners, how on earth on you not getting a second date? I mean it usually takes about 3 dates to confirm that somebody is boring or not for you. And if I was a single girl looking for Mr. Right and Jake shows up on my first date, I am at least going to give it another shot with a second date based purely on looks alone. Is that shallow? Perhaps. But this tells me much more about Jake’s ability to pick the right women to go on dates with. Still, overall, this intro made Jake seem like a relatively harmless, nice guy. He’s certainly no Wes from last season and I hardly doubt he’d propose to one of these ladies only to dump her and pursue the runner-up. And what’s wrong with nice? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps everything. The jury is still out.

Did anyone else think that the ladies on last night’s show were all supermodels? Like I was checking out a Sports Illustrated edition (the prom dress version) and girl after girl coming out of those limos were drop dead hot?? Despite claiming to be very nervous, Jake didn’t really seem to care too deeply about looks, despite the fact he did give roses to two of the supermodels with actress agendas (Elizabeth, the 29 year old Nanny from Nebraska but who lives in Los Angeles (uh, pursuing her acting/modeling career no doubt and nannying on the side for some cash) and Rozlyn – the blonde bombshell).


I think we were all a bit shocked by some of Jake’s choices at the rose ceremony. You’re picking Michelle (Emotional, Intense, Always about to Cry) and Evil Christina (I’m bringing the girls candy as a parting gift on their way out the door) over Elizabeth, the 29 year old National Guard Captain who’s smart, down to earth and gorgeous in her own way?? What was he thinking? BTW, I loved the comment from one of the girls in the house when Christina was handing out the candy, "I bet she put laxatives in that candy." But getting back to Jake's lack of taste - why would he reject Sheila, the stunning blonde haired girl who happens to be a commercial pilot??!! Jake, might you at least try to see if you have some chemistry with basically a supermodel who also happens to have the same profession as you? It’s not even just her looks and occupation. Ed and Jillian told Jake that Sheila was one of their favorites. Was he that turned off by her looks or personality? Maybe she wasn't forward enough for him? It’s confusing.

Speaking of Ed and Jillian, they were definitely cute together as a couple. Jillian, however, who I usually adore, did not seem her usual self. That glitzy silver sequined gown was too much for her. She didn’t need it – she usually has such cute clothes, I was a bit disappointed. I hope she doesn’t feel like she needed to outdo herself just because Ed may have a wandering eye. (If she felt insecure about him before, imagine having her Ed walk into a room of 25 single, gorgeous, YOUNG babes ready to pounce).

Another observation which I would like to point out – was the amount of blondes that looked alike last night. There were about 6 of them sitting on a couch together at one point and it was hard to distinguish between them. They all had very long, wavy blonde hair. I thought Tiana looked like Jessica Bowlin who “won” Jesse Palmer’s season as The Bachelor. What do you think? Even Jake seemed to think that these girls were out of his league. In a normal world, I’d agree. But this is The Bachelor, where even the puniest of dudes (hello, Byron the bass fisherman??) is made to look like a dream come true.



In addition, besides the Cambodian lady, who in my opinion, was tacky and kind of nasty when she said (in Cambodian) that Jake could land on her landing strip (there is a time and place for everything, but as the first sentence out of her mouth to him – gross), there were no other minorities. Clearly Jake likes Caucasian women, but surely ABC could have found a couple of intelligent, attractive ethnic ladies besides Channy for Jake to pursue. Perhaps these women were just not interested in Jake. Anyone would have been better than Channy, though. She was probably my least favorite girl of the night.

There is no doubt that Rozlyn, the vivacious Blonde with the “enormous assets” has a not so hidden agenda. Clearly she is there to promote her modeling career. She mocks Michelle’s intensity on desiring marriage and children with Jake and then communicates with Jake mostly through smoldering stares and cheap lines like, “Do you want to have kids with me right now?” As The Fiance said, even if you don’t like her personality, you’ve got to keep her boobs around for at least another week. Nice, Fiance.

I have to say, that watching Jake in his element as a pilot, was somewhat interesting. It is probably the most interesting thing about him. Otherwise, he’s a bit square for me. Chris Harrison calls this quality “sincerity.” I guess there’s something to be said for that. Maturity calls for sincerity over party boy and Jake definitely fits the bill. Despite my doubts that Jake will be able to hold our interests over the course of the season, I am always rooting for love. And whether that’s with Paris Hilton (Vienna) and her little dog Chloe; Courtney Cox, the Taller, Younger, Hotter Version (Elizabeth, 29, Nanny) or Elijah Wood (Emily, the beautiful Fit Model. Oh wait, he already sent her home), I will cheer for a happy ending.



















Jake comments at the beginning of the show that he thought he would be married by age 31. What’s wrong with being single at 31? If anything, it means that Jake has had the chance to become independent, establish his career and become his own person. Nothing wrong with that. I like how they blend these comments with shots of Jake on his motorcycle, in aviator glasses, driving off into the sunset, Top Gun style. After calling himself a “nice guy” at least 4 times, Jake concludes that “Nice guys don’t finish last. They just may have to wait a bit longer…” I’d like to modify this comment and sum up this season (is it possible to sum it up before it’s really begun?) by saying, “Nice girls who watch The Bachelor will have to wait a very long time for this season to be over.”

Some general comments about the ladies:

Ali, 25 (If Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson had a child, it would be Ali). I loved her yellow chiffon dress last night. She was adorable. From the previews of the season, it looks like Ali is a front runner this season. I’d look for her in the final 4 for sure. One of my favorite highlights of the night: her tripping while getting the first one on time with Jake and ripping her dress. Better than that was her comment, “I’m never fixing this dress.” Like when you’re in 4th grade and the guy you have a crush on kisses your lunch box or something like that – and you vow never to wash your lunch box. My only hesitation was Ali’s fear of flying. Something tells me that Jake will have no problem convincing her to get into a plane. Also, some of her comments about Jake indicated that she’s a bit young.

Tenley, 25, the Dancer who was a virgin until her wedding day. This is another person to watch. She must be somewhat religious if she was a virgin until her wedding day and hasn’t kissed another man (until she forces Jake to kiss her). Also, in her photo shoot online, she wears a cross (Jake puts G-d first). I was completely annoyed that she felt the need to read Jake a list of her 10 best qualities. I missed this, but did she give him a Top 10 list because her name is Tenley? Rolled my eyes at this – especially when #1 on her countdown was that she was a good kisser. But worse than this ridiculous list is the fact that Jake fell for it. And worse than Jake falling for it – is the fact that Tenley stupidly told the other ladies that she kissed Jake (BAD, BAD move on night 1), and then ended up CRYING over it. And of course, worse than all of these crazy things is the fact that Jake ends up giving her the first impression rose. HUHHHH? I thought that rose would go to Ashleigh from North Potomac (where The Fiance is from!), who is the girl that tripped on her way out of the limo up to Jake. How could she have tripped with the height of the slit in her dress? She had plenty of stretch! Did anybody else replay that moment over and over again? I couldn’t stop laughing. The Fiance thinks she did that on purpose. If moments from The Bachelor made it into a highlight reel that played on the SportsCenter of Reality TV, the trip into Jake’s arms, would have definitely made the cut.

Tenley’s baby voice drove me a little nuts. I think Jake will fall for this hard – along with the fact that Tenley’s ex cheated on her. I am sure Jake, being the nice guy he is, has been cheated on before – and he will be able to relate.

Let us not forget that both Ali and Tenley are babies: 25. Not as young as Elijah Wood Emily (who was only 23), but still, very young. This doesn’t seem to bother Jake right now.

I am really sad about Elizabeth – Captain in the National Guard. She was probably my favorite. Anyone with a shred of intelligence would have kept her around. She just seemed so normal. I vote for her to be the next Bachelorette.

Rozlyn is already bothering me. Just because she looks like Barbie and is there for her modeling career. Enough said.

Christina was a bitch, and knows it. She likes it. The funniest part about her was when she was practicing small talk with girls in a mirror. “I like your shoes.” She’s a guy’s girl. I think she’ll stick around as bitches often do, but she’s not going to win this thing.

Vienna is Paris Hilton. Another member of the Blonde Club, she’s as bubbly as they come. This may be a little overwhelming for Jake’s personality. She’s going to fall hard for Jake – who is out of her league looks wise, however, she seems like a nice girl and at least at the end of this, she’ll have Chloe. The fact that she has “Mommy/Daughter days” with her dog is mildly alarming, but will add some spice to this otherwise dull season. Paris/Vienna is 23 years old. ‘Nuff said.






Courtney Cox, aka “Elizabeth the hot Nanny” won the affection of every guy in America when she threw that football to Jake. Final 3 for sure. Though what 29 year old is a Nanny full time? Would you want this woman in your house? Does she really mean, “Nanny/Model?” Did she come straight out of the Victoria’s Secret catalogue to be on this show? Very possible. I’d like to know if she has a personality. If she does, this might be a homerun for Jake if she’s remotely interested in him. Otherwise it’s her or Rozlyn having an affair with the producer or cameraman (or each other) on set.

Ella, the 29 year old Hair Stylist and mom to Ethan, seems to have a lot of the qualities that Stephanie from Jason’s season has. Southern accent, totally devoted to her kid and seems like a very nice person. It was interesting that she immediately told Jake about her son. Not sure how I feel about her giving Jake, her son’s toy – clearly that was not her kid's idea??). Behind this sweetness of Ella’s, there may be a competitive fire – she boxes and notes that “if there’s a girl in her face, she will knock them out.” Woah!!

It’s now 5:47 PM and I’m on the train home. Long day. Let’s get right back to it.

For some reason, I think Jake’s going to keep Gia around for way longer than I want to see her. Another model (for swimsuits, fitness and a beauty pageant competitor), she’s as deep as Saran Wrap and so far, all we know is that Jake likes her long dark hair. That’s a lot to go on. She’s another one that talks with her “assets.” Was not a fan. Also she says that she's from "Manhattan" and gives him a sideways smile when she does this. I have no idea what she's trying to accomplish, but maybe this was something she was taught by a beauty pageant coach.

Let’s take a moment to talk about Michelle. First the positive – she is definitely a stunning girl. And let’s be honest – she’s made it very clear what her purpose for being on the show is: she wants a husband, kids and she thinks Jake could be the one. Or rather, she’s ready for the rest of her life to start ASAP with him. I can understand that if you suddenly had an epiphany within an hour of meeting Jake that he’s your soulmate/husband/father of your children, it might be very upsetting to know that there are 24 other women competing for your man as well. No wonder she got emotional. On the other hand, she was crying over him within an hour of meeting him. That’s either the alcohol, the hormones or severe emotional problems. No matter the reason, Jake seemed to like it. He ignored the advice of his buddies Jills and Ed and gave her a rose anyway. If her intensity continues, however, even Jake may thinks it’s too much. Right now he thinks it’s cute. We’ll see how long that lasts, especially once she starts showing up in his shower and bedroom window at all hours of the night.

Speaking of shower, was it really necessary to have an entire shower shot of Jake from the waist up, focusing on his abs in between soap shots of his armpits, talking about his quest for love? I mean, come on! This is a family show!

The Football game that broke out during the cocktail party was definitely sparked by alcohol. No supermodels, fit models, spokespeople, etc. willingly decide to spontaneously play football. I was very impressed with Elizabeth and Jessie (“Do you have a registry for these guns?” she says to Jake upon coming out of the limo. He doesn’t get the joke) for making some incredible catches.

When one lady (was it Alexa?) came out of the limo wearing black leather gloves, I had no idea what she was going to do to Jake. She says to Jake, “Guess what I’m going to do with these?” at which point The Fiance says, “She’s gonna choke him.” Instead she wanted to let him ride her Harley. All of these planes and bikes are getting to be too much. Enough.

Corrie’s line, “Do you want to Kissimme?” thew Jake off at first. What did she expect him to say in response to that? He didn’t know she was from Florida. And he certainly didn’t look like he wanted to kiss her. But he must have found this charming because Corrie got a rose. We didn't see much of her tonight, but she seems pretty normal for now.

Valishia may be another one to watch. If she has family from Texas (Jake's home) and thinks the best things in life are free, she may be low maintenance and Jake will like that. What I don't understand is how at age 24, she's a homemaker when she lives in one of the most expensive parts of the world (Southern California)?? Is she a trust fund baby? Or is "homemaker" another word for "aspiring actress, model, nanny?" I thought people had to have a husband and kids to be a "homemaker." Couldn't she at least come up with "Babysitter" or "Artist" or "Volunteer?" Plus, I thought it was funny when her and Jillian started dancing together.

Ashley seemed cute and bubbly, in her long pink dress, until she busted out the hooker, I mean, co-pilot outfit for Jake. It got his attention because she got the rose. She's another one to look out for. I liked that Ashley is 29, a bit older compared to the rest of these girls and a teacher. Although, I hope none of her students saw her in that outfit.

Jake seems pretty confident that his wife is amongst this group. He tells Chris the Host that the woman of his dreams is there.

Some funny lines from last night:

Jake to one of the supermodel bachelorettes, "I like to build furniture and create..."
Supermodel (just stares at Jake with smoldering eyes)

Channy: "I can be a naughty girl. Jake needs a little bit of Cambodian fever."

Christina: “Some people have their tatas out to play” (camera pan to Rozlyn's boobs)

Michelle (with tears in eyes): "I deserve Jake for where I am in my life right now. It will make me feel even...I want a husband, children, etc.
Rozlyn: "I hope that all works out for you."

I think Kathryn is another one to watch (this is the one that wears an engagement ring on her left hand so that guys don't hit on her. She is a flight attendant and I'm guessing this would otherwise happen a lot. Kathryn seems sweet, shy, almost normal. She's very attractive too. They don't say too much about her (Jill and Ed told Jake to choose her), so I'm guessing there's more to come.

Sorry, more quotes

Ed: "I'm here to help you vet them out." Awesome. Spoken like a true businessman.

Ed: We're trying for our dog. She (Jillian) is off the pill.

Tenley (part of her top 10 list): "I'm a cuddle bug." Gross.

Roses go to:

Ella (the mom)
Elizabeth from Nebraska the Nanny (Courtney Cox, but hotter)
Ali (Torn dress, Lost voice)
Vienna (Paris Hilton)
Christina (the bitch)
Gia (Pageant contestant with long brown hair)
Ashley (co pilot get up)
Rozlyn (Barbie, huge boobs)
Jessie (great football catcher)
Corrie (blonde, skinny nose)
Felizia (danced with Jills)
Ashleigh H (the one that tripped) North Potomac
Kathryn (flight attendant w/ engagement ring)
Michelle (crazy)
Tenley (first impression rose)

As for the results of the Jake-the-Bachelor points game. Did you do your tallies??

Here's what I calculated:

1. Every time Jake takes off his shirt (+1) 7 times. Total = 7 points
2. Every time Jakes works out on camera (+1) 2 times. Total = 2 points
3. One of the Bachelorette cries (+1) 4 times = 4 points
4. Inappropriate, busty, short skirt outfit (+1) 2 times = 2 points
5. "I'm a nice guy" references (-1) 3 times = -3 points
6. Jake was heartbroken references (-1) 2 times = -2 points
7. Jake's a pilot, modern day Tom Cruise (+1) 8 times = 8 points
8. Unoriginal line used from previous season (-2) 4 times = -8 points
9. Chris tries to change it up a bit (+1) 1 time = 1 point
10. Jake kisses a girl (+1) 1 time = 1 point (knee does not count)
11. A girl gives Jake a present (-3) 2 times = -6 points

My early top 5 picks: Ali, Elizabeth, Kathryn, Tenley and Ella

Total for Episode 1: 6 points overall. The pluses win this by a hair. What am I missing? What were your favorite lines? Who do you think is gonna win? I wanna here it!!!

If this season doesn't do it for you, did any of you catch the show that was on AFTER?? It was ridiculous! "Conveyor Belt of Love." The concept? 5 women watch as 30 men come out on a conveyor belt. Each man has 60 seconds to win these women over. I have no idea what happens if they woo a particular lady, as I don't have time to think about these things, but I'm sure it's worth at least 30 seconds of your time.