Every Bachelor Pad Has Its Mental Patient

Bach Pad is taking on an interesting pattern this season. The last two episodes have started off immediately following the rose ceremony from the episode before. So as soon as the show comes on, we are launched into the aftermath of Melissa and Blake and how she’s shocked that Blake has absolutely no romantic interest in her. There was about a 30 second window where I felt sympathy for Melissa. I mean, if she had in fact been making out with Blake the entire previous day and night, only to find him attached to the hip with Holly the entire afternoon – that can definitely be confusing and hurtful. Especially if he’s feeding her lines that they are going to be together after the show ends. But my sympathy ends after her crying fit continued past 30 minutes and resurfaces multiple times throughout the show. This girl needs some severe therapy and lots of meaningful hugs. She was completely manipulated from start to finish of her time on the show so far. The only one who actually stood up for her was Michelle Money. Blake used her to get the rose last week. Jake comforted her to save his own ass and get her to vote off Kasey. Erica spied on her, admitted to a plan of manipulating Melissa and getting her sane enough to vote with her head versus emotion. And all of the scheming worked – Melissa did give Blake the rose. She did allow herself comfort from Jake. She did vote for Kasey. And in the end, she’s still came off an emotional wreck. Ok, maybe I still have some sympathy for her. She’s in the lion’s den, after all.

I liked last night’s challenge on Bachelor Pad. The guys were actually really good and I was happy to see the heartbroken Michael Stagliano kicking butt once again. Seeing them in their banana hammocks makes me happy. Bachelor Pad is so good at breaking the double standard of not just having hot women in hot bikinis prancing around. It’s usually good about showing off the men’s bodies as well and those underwater cameras certainly provided a lot of information. BTW, the camera person filming the ladies last night was very into boobs. Did you notice the regular shots (for absolutely no reason other than boob obsession) of Melissa, Vienna, Michelle, Erica, etc.? It was almost comical.

If anyone had any question about whether Vienna is really just a misunderstood, down to earth type, a few seconds of Michael Stag’s horseback riding group date was very eye opening. She’s such a Debbie Downer. Complaining about her helmet (I thought the helmet improved her looks), the weather, and watching her little head bob up and down with the horse – these are all classic Vienna. The producers must be annoyed by her just as much as the viewers.

The interaction of Holly and Michael during their alone time last night was once again – extremely emotional. I like these two together, but I agree whole heartedly with Holly: love should not have to be that difficult for it to work. And while these two seem to care about each other (and Holly’s attraction for Blake seems to have hit a roadblock – at least this week), when Bret Michaels is your relationship therapist, you’re probably in trouble. Now if it’s 6th grade, and you’re slow dancing to Every Rose Has Its Thorn – there’s pretty much no better remedy for driving up romance, but sitting in Bret Michaels’s trailer and getting the live acoustic version – that may be a little intense for them. Still, I love Michael Stags. He’s so clearly head over heels for Holly, I just want to grab his cheeks and tell him it will all be ok. What a sweetheart that guy is. Holly seems to be coming around to his charms.

Let’s talk about Erica. Her voice kills me. Well maybe not the voice itself, but the way she uses it. Like it’s putting her out to have to say a sentence. And everything that comes out of her mouth is negative (kind of like everything I’m about to say about Erica). Watching her try to seduce Jake felt icky. Maybe ibecause it’s blatantly obvious that Jake has absolutely no interest in her. Seeing her hand touch his hand just felt wrong. And when they finally did kiss, I was screaming at the television. Gross. Especially when we learned that Erica gets lip injections every 6 months. Lucky Jake. And her father’s a plastic surgeon, so we know her boobs are fake too. I just don’t find her remotely appealing in any way and having platinum blonde hair and wearing a bright yellow dress for the rose ceremony was an eye sore only made worse by her overuse of a judge’s gavel. Order has been restored in the Bachelor Pad? Give me a break.

Then came my favorite moment of the night (The Husband had to leave the apartment mid-show and when he returned I made him watch this scene). Kasey’s 6 month anniversary gift to his love: a ring and a song. Vienna’s reaction to Kasey breaking out a ring box pretty much says it all: she has no interest in this guy. Her entire relationship with Kasey is about avenging her breakup with Jake, having someone to partner up with for Bach Pad and controlling his every move. When she suspected (as we all did) that he was going to propose – her immediate reaction is that she doesn’t want him. But then he gives her a promise ring and starts another Kasey Classic – a completely out of tune, mumbled love song. It’s too bad we couldn’t see Vienna’s face while he was singing. She seemed to almost be emotional by the end (though she could have been crying in embarrassment). Before all of this lovey dovey stuff, however, there was a big blowout between them in front of the rest of the house. Finally, we get to hear Kasey defend himself to Vienna. It was nice to see. And their private conversation where he basically calls her out on being manipulative was so romantic! I’m starting to think these two deserve each other.

I was very happy to see Michelle put the moves on Graham. She is so much more subtle with Graham than she was with Brad (subtle, for Michelle). And he seems into her, so that’s good. It’s always nice to see a healthy romance blossom from this crazy show. They could easily become a power couple. Speaking of power couples, I am still at a loss for why the contestants wouldn’t want to vote off Vienna and Kasey. Why is everyone so scared of them? Why are they rallying around such an insane pair? I very much agreed with Jake’s strategy – if they didn’t vote them off last night, they are going to be very hard to bring down. It’s like the rules of sanity don’t apply in Bachelor Pad.

Picking up from last night’s dramatic ending, ABC has attempted to drag out the Vienna vs. Kasey vs. Jake drama for one more week. This must mean that the remainder of the season is far less exciting, and they needed to spend at least half of an episode focusing on the aftermath of Jake being voted out of the house. So next week, we can anticipate the direct consequence of this results and the options seem to be the following: (1) Kasey and Jake get into a physical altercation; (2) Jake starts hissing and getting angry naming all of the horrible things Vienna did when they were living together; (3) Kasey and Vienna make out in front of Jake and Jake does the same with Erica. (4) Kasey sings a goodbye song to Jake or (5) Jake uses his departure as another opportunity to redeem his reputation as an angry, explosive ex fiance and says some thoughtful and classy things (like he wishes Vienna and Kasey well, etc.) while Vienna and Kasey go on about how happy they are he’s leaving, that he’s a monster, etc.

Some other observations in no particular order:

- I love Kirk. I think he’s smart, sweet and has a good head on his shoulders (except when that head reasoned that voting off Kasey is not a good idea). If there was one normal female in the house remaining, Kirk might also have a chance at romance.

- Has William said 2 words this entire season? Time for him to go.

- When is Ella going to explode on Vienna? I hope this happens soon because it’s time for the voice of reason to kick in here and bring Vienna down.

- Does Dave Good think it’s Man Code to judge synchronized swimming competitions?

- Is Graham good looking? Or was he better looking on DeAnna’s season and now is kind of bean pole looking? I can’t decide.

Those are my thoughts for now, but I’m curious to hear what you guys think. Can anyone beat Vienna and Kasey? What will the aftermath of Jake being voted off be like (civilized vs. dramatic?)? How many more times will Melissa cry before she leaves the mansion for good? Will we see Erica giving herself lip injections?