Stuck Between a Nut, Botox Lips and a Holly

Lock Your Doors & Windows

Tonight's episode of Bachelor Pad 2 has started to restore my faith in The Bachelor franchise.  For the first time since Brad Womack was making out with Chantal O all night in an African treehouse days before he proposed to Emily, I was sitting on the edge of my seat.  I didn't know what I was more excited to see: whether Blake would choose Melissa and go through one of the most uncomfortable one on one "romantic" dates in Bach history, choose Erica and get physically nauseous from watching her stick her boobs, lips and monotone seduction voice to get what she wants out of him, or watch as the fireworks exploded if he chose Holly.  Luckily, we got a little bit of everything.  Melissa went just crazy enough to make us still worry that she's going to pop out of a closet in our apartment tonight or stand by in the bathroom to talk to us while we brush our teeth.  I'm completely terrified of her.  Erica rubbing oil over Blake and thinking she has any romantic chance with him whatsoever is hysterically funny and nauseating at the same time.  And watching Melissa's reaction to Holly getting chosen is just plain entertainment.  First, she basically tells Michael to his face that his ex-fiance and the woman he loves doesn't give two @#($@( about him.  Harsh.  Then later she drums up a crystal clear picture of Holly and Blake making out when they don't come back from their overnight.  Any sympathy I had for Melissa goes out the door at her complete thoughtlessness.

And poor Michael Stagliano.  There's nothing worse than realizing the women you were once engaged to and who is out on a date with another guy is irreplaceable.  Bad timing.  But these two can't seem to get it together when there are absolutely NO obstacles in their way.  I mean, what is so difficult exactly?  They love each other, they are attracted to each other, so what's the problem?  Blake's perfect teeth?  Holly's inability to make a decision?  I get that they couldn't make it work in the past, but what's so hard about giving it another try - at least for the cameras?  And since when did Vienna become a relationship counselor?  You know you're in trouble if you're going to Vienna for relationship advice.

Seeing Michelle Money being so nurturing and motherly to Melissa and Vienna makes me question her sanity.  We saw her fist pumping when Jake got voted off - what was that all about?  What beef does she have with Jake?  None, except that her girl Vienna is happy about it.  Maybe she's scared of Vienna.  And why on earth did they make us wait an entire week before showing us the Jake vote off aftermath?  It was so disappointing.  I wanted to see Jake and Kasey go at it (like The Situation and Ronni on Jersey Shore).  I love how Jake told everyone to vote off the Power Couples and then he says an individual farewell to both Vienna and Kasey, the very people he is talking about.   Seeing Kasey's little smile and victory speech (which I didn't understand as it was mumbled as usual), made me dislike the guy even more.  Why the others haven't figure out a way to vote him off (especially over someone harmless like Will) is beyond me. 

Before I hit the hay tonight and wonder if my Metro North train will work tomorrow morning, I have to say that I just love Kirk.  Such a nice guy.  And good for him and Ella getting some unexpected smooching going on in the hot air balloon.  Did not see that coming, but they both seem like nice, sane people so hooray for normal meeting normal.  Ella seems to be the only female left in the house with a brain, so I am looking forward to hearing her tell it like it is the other looney bins in the house.  Hopefully Vienna is next on her list of people to call out. 

More tomorrow.  I love this show.  So thankful it has returned to us the drama, insanity and pure, unfiltered moronic moments that I knew it was capable of.

Last thought:  LOVE that Kasey refused to do the kissing contest saying that Vienna would kill him, and then BAM the two of them of course participate.  Chris Harrison said that a lot of time was spent convincing everyone to compete.  More on that tomorrow as well...