Breaking Down Brad's Bachelorettes

Overall, I have a lot of concern regarding Brad's ability to meet the future Mrs. Womack during the upcoming season of The Bachelor.  This is not based on any inside knowledge of what has already taken place.  In fact, Brad has already let the press know that he did, in fact, find love.  Or that he's happy. Or something like that.  My opinion that Brad will ultimately end up single again has only to do with the stats of the Bachelorettes competing for his love and nothing else (their pictures, their ages, their occupations of some of their ridiculous answers to even more ridiculous questions can be found here: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/bios).

Here are my thoughts on why Brad will not find long term love with any of these ladies:

1.  Out of the 25 women, the oldest woman is 32 years old.  Brad is 38 years old.  There are a handful of 30 years olds, but the majority are mid-20 somethings.    Which means that the most of the women are over 10 years younger than the man they are after.  Does this mean that love is impossible?  Of course not.  But a 25 year old woman and a 38 year old man are usually not in the same place in their life.  Of course there's Hugh Hefner, age 84 and his new fiance, age 24, but I think we can agree this is the exception.

2.  At least half of the women appear to be Models, Aspiring Models, or have professions that are code words for aspiring actresses or TV personalities.  Also in this group are women so young that they have no business marrying a 38 year old man who has had an extra 14-15 years to figure himself out.

3.  We've got two nannies (Ashley S and Renee) who are 26 and 28 years old.  Both happen to be model types.  Remember our last "nanny" from Jake's season?  It was Elizabeth, the girl who refused to kiss Jake until he was sure she was the one for him, then teased him about wanting to kiss her every time they were together.  Nanny = code word for CRAZY and looking for possible modeling contract.

4.  Rebecca is an esthetician from California.  Is this another code word for model wannabe who waxes hair on the side?  Then there's Raichel, the "Manscaper." What on earth does that mean?  An actress wannabe or person who hasn't figured out what she wants yet? At age 29, this is a little disheartening, but not as bad as the fact that she admitted to an embarrassing moment of farting on a date while playing basketball.  Certainly there was something else she might choose to reveal about herself to the world?  Brad might find her honestly refreshing.

5.  There's some clear hotties battling for a modeling contract and attention.  Michelle the Hairstylist, for sure.  Madison who is actually a model and looks like a Barbie Doll and Stacey the bartender who is most proud of her modeling contract.  Come on - are these three really looking for love or an opportunity to promote themselves?  Emily, a hospital event planner, looks like Holly Madison, another former love of Huge Hefner.  Finally, there's Sarah L, a musical theater performer - as if she's not looking for her next audition via the channels of The Bachelor.  Is there any way she is NOT going to sing during this season?  I'd say there's a 99% chance of her trying to woo Brad with a song.


Besides the Young and the Beautiful, a couple of the occupations intrigued me.  We've got a funeral director (a real life Six Feet Under character!), a Radio City Rockette (another performer seeking a TV opportunity), and a Dentist from Maine.  Since Brad has his own business in Texas, I doubt the funeral director and dentist would be readily available to relocate.

The most promising prospects seem to be Jill, Marisa and Sarah P.  I like Jill because she seems very down to earth, played softball growing up and already lives in Texas like Brad. Plus, he seems to have a thing for brunettes.  Also a brunette, Marisa is a sports publicist from Arizona, which Brad might really appreciate.  Sarah P from Colorado has been helping raise her nephew with her sister for the past two years and seems like a genuine person.  Because I like these three women, they are almost certainly not going to make it past the first couple of rounds.

I feel like I know the oldest contestant, 32 year old Melissa from Westport, CT.  Westport is close to where I work and Melissa is a waitress - but not sure if that means she's really an aspiring actress or something like that. Maybe I've seen her on TV before?  Or maybe I've seen her on the train commuting to work? Britt the 25 year old Food writer sounds interesting.  Lisa P from Dix Hills does not.  For some reason I think Lisa P will be aggressive and annoying, but this is only because she does Sales and is from Long Island, NY and to survive there, you kind of have to be both of these things.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see. We already know from the previews that DeAnna Pappas and Jenni Croft, the two women who were rejected by Brad on his first go-around as Bachelor, are coming back to confront him.  Since these two ladies are both currently happy in other relationships (Jenni Croft is married and DeAnna Pappas is engaged to a former contestant's brother, Stephen Stagliano), my guess is that this will be absolutely the least dramatic encounter of the season. In fact, they will probably thank him.  If Brad keeps the woman around who smacks him across the face upon getting out of the limo, I may have to stop watching.

Also, keep in mind that these ladies were most likely selected with Chris Lambton in mind, as he was definitely expected to be the next Bachelor and is 5 years younger.  I miss Chris already, but if he's happy with Peyton (or with whoever else he is currently dating), then I am happy for him.

Enjoy this final weekend of Bachelor-less festivities.  Happy new year and get ready for a hopefully interesting season of The Bachelor.  It'll be cold out in most places anyhow and there's not much going on in January, so might as well add it to your DVR list.

Is there any bachelorette that has caught your eye from the pics and stats alone?  Do you think Brad will find long term happiness? Do you care?  Let's hear your thoughts.

It's Almost 2011 - Over / Under League

For some reason or another, I always end up going out the night before New Year's Eve.  This December 30th is no exception. What was supposed to be a simple double date with our friends Shari and Jason has turned into an all out bowling fiesta with a group of potentially 13 people.  Ah well, the more the merrier, right?

With just 4 nights left until the season premiere of The Bachelor (Jan 3rd), I have been receiving a number of interesting emails from people regarding your own fantasy Bachelor leagues, etc.   So many innovative folks out there!

In particular, Scott from Nashville wrote in about a new site he created for The Bachelor that may be of interest to some of you Bachelor fanatics.  It's an Over/Under Pick 'Em League for each episode where you  make picks based on what you think will happen and then get points for it. 

Some of the lines for Monday's episode (all you need to do is pick Over or Under for each line and if you're right, you get a certain number of points):

Number of contestants wearing black dresses when exiting the limo: 5.5

Number of times Brad is describes as "hot" or some derivative of the word ("hottie," "hot stuff," etc.): 2.5

Blondes eliminated: 2.5

Girls from California eliminated from the show (4 possible): 1.5

Number of contestants with visible tattoos: 1.5

Girls show crying on-camera: 0.5

If you are interested or if this sounds like something up your ally, the site is www.joustnow.com.   There are a few leagues going, including American Idol, but Scott is looking to get more people involved.  Also, I don't think there is a cost to enter this league, but will have to do more investigating.

Best of luck and let me know how it goes!!

Also, let me know what your new year's plans are. The Husband and I are headed to Jersey to hang with some old friends of ours that are in town from London with their 6 month old baby Isla.  Saturday will be spent with my parents, sister and four nephews.  A nice calm weekend before heading back to work on Monday.

-Stacey B

The Trespasser by Don McGregor and Paul Gulacy.

originally published in Eerie # 103 - through - 105.  these scans, Nightmares # 1 - 2.

Don't Blow the Whistle! by Gilbert Shelton.

from Zap! Comix # 6.

Stan The Man!

Happy birthday, mate!  You're a fucking legend!

Banjo Lessons by Bruce Jones and Rand Holmes.

from Twisted Tales # 5.

Emma Frain.

If you find this sort of thing offensive, you might want to consider following somebody else's blog.