Untimely Departure for Funeral Director - Episode 3

There's so much to discuss, I'm not sure where to begin.  Chris Harrison promised us an episode last night that people would be talking about for months. I’m not sure that "months" is quite accurate, but there were several historic moments that must be pointed out for posterity:
(1) We saw our very first rejection by a contestant of a one on one date. This has never happened in Bachelor history. Brittney shocked us all by rejecting Bachelor Ben. On a bright note, it reminded us how nice having Ben as a Bachelor is versus the previous season. The rejection does not set him into a tailspin. He’s not off crying that the rest of the girls probably wish he was Bentley or something. He’s confident and perfectly ok with Brittney leaving. He even says to the rest of the girls, “Not all of us are going to be matches.” Wow, this is the first time in Bachelor history that a Bachelor has verbally admitted it’s not possible to fall in love with everyone! This, to me, is the most shocking Bachelor moment of all time.

I love, by the way, that not only did Brittney feel the need to interrupt Ben’s group date to break the news, but that she marched right up to him with her luggage in hand – was she running late and there wasn’t enough time to take the extra 10 seconds to leave it by the doorway while she dumped Ben? Maybe she had a plane to catch or she thought Blakeley might steal one of her outfits. Either way, if despite crying during the whole decision making process, thumbs up to Brittney for admitting this early on that living with a bunch of insane women vying over one dude is just not ideal. Sounds like she may have had someone at home or she’s just not a drama queen. Perhaps I’ve overlooked her finer qualities. At least she’ll be going home to a warm grandma. 

(2) In the aftermath of Brittney’s leaving, I also don’t think that we’ve seen a sloppy seconds date scenario for a one on one date. Can Lindzi truly enjoy her date knowing that it was designed specifically for Brittney? Doesn’t she have to be thinking – why wasn’t I chosen? Perhaps they did discuss this at some point, but the audience never finds out. Either way, Lindzi didn’t seem to have a resentful bone in her body. She was only too happy to be Brittney for the night. Seeing the Matt Nathanson private concert that Britt was supposed to see. Going to the speakeasy Britt was supposed to dine out at and hanging out at a piano while we once again heard the same David Gray song being played by our talented Bachelor. My only question is whether she got the Neil Lane necklace that was given to Brittney, or did Brit make out like a jewel thief? Lindzi is truly head over heels for Ben at this point – he can do no wrong. The Husband’s comment on her was that she “was very Southern,” to which I clarified that she was from Washington state. Perhaps he was confused by her doting qualities, her raspy voice or her Southern accent that she didn’t have. Who knows.

(3) During the rose ceremony, we’ve never seen a lady hesitate in accepting a rose for that long, then qualifying her acceptance by saying she, “saw (Ben) talking to what’s-her-butt…it wasn’t easy.” Ben should have taken the rose back from Courtney right then and handed it to Shawntel. There were a lot of Courtney red flags popping up around Ben throughout the episode – I really hope he starts to take notice of them.

(4) I’d say it was a first to have a bachelorette faint at the rose ceremony, but I don’t think that’s the case. I seem to remember plenty of women barely being able to keep it together at these things. It’s hard to keep in mind that these ceremonies actually last hours, whereas, we get to see it all in two minutes. Once we saw the outtake of Erika’s inner mouth tattoo, I think we all understood why she got the axe. I’m so glad Ben didn’t give her the sympathy rose. Erika seems like a nice enough person, but anyone that feels the need to tattoo the inside of their mouth every six months has to have some issues.  I, myself, was having heart palpitations watching Ben decide amongst this hostile group of ladies.

And now on to my favorite moments of the night:

• Julia Flajnik. How great was it to see Ben’s sister? She’s cute – and a lot warmer than I remember her being when we last met her on Ashley’s hometown visit. Too bad she couldn't have interviewed the ladies and given us her opinion.  She kind of looked familiar to me, and then I realized she looks a little like Shawntel Newton herself or a brunette Ali Fedotowsky. What do you think? We picked up some interesting nuggets of information during Ben’s interaction with her. First, we learned that (1) Ben’s mom twirls a baton – just like Kacie B. We knew Kacie gained some points for being spontaneous and out-going, but who knew that she was actually reminding him of his mother? Gold star for Kacie! (2) Ben thinks that Courtney is “super down to earth and drama free.” HA! (3) Jennifer the accountant is the best kisser. I thought this was a cute comment, until he actually revealed this to Jennifer later on in the episode, which is basically spelling it out in black and white that he has swapped saliva with every woman in the house; (4) he calls Emily a “science nerd” and I’m wondering if he perhaps seems a bit of himself in Emily. From Ben’s child hood pictures, it looks like he may have been slightly dorky as a young ‘in. No wonder he’s super psyched to go out with a super model and a stripper.
• The Fairmont hotel in San Fran seems pretty awesome with great views. Speaking of views, what are the chances that Jennifer would be looking through the telescope and actually find Ben and Emily on their one on one date (how many hotel rooms have telescopes to begin with and was it purposely set up to view the Bay Bridge?). Kind of a long shot, in my opinion, but it was funny to see the ladies’ reactions. 

• Emily’s date with Ben. The fact that Emily had to actually clamp and unclamp her own life saving devices to the Bay Bridge while she climbed 535 feet into the air was terrifying. She must have really liked Ben to be willing to do something like that with him. No person in their right mind, who is scared of heights, would ever do anything so ridiculous. But this is the infamous adrenaline date, and if Emily has been doing her Bachelor research, she knows that if she goes through with this date, it will launch her into the very top of the top in Ben’s eyes. Former adrenaline dates include: Jake and Vienna bungee jumping; Ali and Roberto jumping off a building together and Brad and Chantal O (not Shawntel from last night) also jumping off some sort of very high natural object together. These dates are a proven bonder. If Ben had a date like this with Brittney’s grandmother, he’d probably end up with her.  
• Me telling The Husband that “everyone is talking about how crazy this week’s episode is going to be!” The Husband responding, “Nobody is talking about sh-t!"
• Nicki stating at one point that the “only way to experience (San Francisco) is to spend it with Ben.” I love ludicrous statements like this. Does she think the entire city will disappear into thin air once The Bachelor is over? Unlike some of the made up dramas and romantic date venues – San Francisco is a real city. 
• Emily’s smile throughout her date with Ben. I love Emily. When she’s not around the other girls, she seems to actually relax (other than being on the Bay Bridge). I like that Ben’s answer to all women freaking out is to just make out with them. He did this with Emily on the bridge and again with Kacie B to convince her everything was ok. I loved Emily’s purple wrap dress during the dinner portion of her date with Ben. I also loved Ben’s Top Gun reference, “Talk to me, Goose,” which he used to comfort Emily on the bridge.
• Did anyone else notice that Ben had a shiny coat of pink lip gloss on during most of the filming of his dinner with Emily? Looks like there was some serious making out. Very nice shade of pink, Ben.
• Emily revealing that she tried online dating and got matched up with her brother. This was also revealed on her profile on the abc.com website, but it was kind of funny for Ben to hear the story. I also loved Ben admitting that Emily was smarter than him, and that one of the reasons his father loved his mother was that she was smarter than him. If she can keep it together and stay away from Courtney, Emily may be a finalist.

• Monica telling Ben, as they are driving to the ski date and the little photo of Rachel comes on in the dashboard followed by a picture of Blakelely, “I’d rather see Rachel…” Oooh, I guess the brief love affair between Monica and Blakeley is done.
• Courtney toasting the other women at the cocktail party, moments before Shawntel's arrival, to "a drama free night."
• After Courtney has a minor meltdown because she can't stand how the other girls are behaving, Emily hopes she gets diagnosed while Monica says, "What just happened with the model?"
• My favorite moment of the night: When Shawntel arrives at the rose ceremony party, struts past all of the women, approaches Ben combined with seeing his reaction while the women finally realize that a hot woman has arrived to poach on their man. Let the fireworks begin!

 Some noteworthy WTF (What the Fudge) moments: 

• Can everyone stop comparing the adrenaline dates to diving into a new relationship? Yes, we know it’s scary to “put yourself out there” but it’s not going to stop you from doing it, is it?

• Leap List. I’m not sure how I feel about this expression. Is this the new “bucket list?” Is a leap list another way of sewing wild oats without getting an STD? Ben kept repeating “Leap List” throughout the episode, but I’m not sure that bikini butt skiing would ever fall on my Leap List, if I ever had one.
• I kind of don’t understand the bikini skiing thing. The ladies looked very cute in their sun dresses and mini shorts on their way to the date. They supposedly had no idea where they were going, so did they all happen to just be wearing bikinis? And even if it was 85 degrees out, isn’t going really fast on slushy snow kind of dangerous? I guess padding isn’t sexy.  And what better way to feature half naked women in public than to send them skiing in bikinis?
• Wait, Brittney really turned down a one on one date with Ben? I'm not getting this still. Was she bored? Who turns down a solo date with the Bachelor? Nobody puts Ben in a corner!
• Ben saying that Kacie B “is going to be trouble for him” in a good way of course. But then he calls her “really sweet” and that “she sparkles.” This is kind of an oxymoron.
• Blakeley’s long black feather earrings. Did she kill a bird on the ski date?

• Ben advising Blakeley, after Blakeley admits the girls all hate her and that they’re spiteful and jealous that she should, “try to make friends.” LOL. As if.
• Rachel getting the rose on the group date (welcome to the show!) and declaring it "one of the best days of her life."  Woahh. Poor thing if skiing half naked with 10 other women and 1 dude can be considered the best day of her life.  Does anyone else think she has the same exact voice and personality as former contestant Natalie Getz?
• What kind of ridiculous word game on paper were Ben and Nicki playing??  But boy did that trigger venom to fly out of Courtney's mouth: Courtney: "These women are naïve and juvenile. Nicki, bless her heart you look like an idiot."  This was followed up by Courtney stating, "Blakeley, you’re the kind of girl a boyfriend cheats on someone with."
• Courtney telling Ben that they'd make cute babies together? WHATTTTT? 
• Elyse screeching, "WHO IS SHE???" after she got interrupted by Shawntel and went back to the rest of the girls.  I think this is the first time we've heard anything out of Elyse.

Things that really annoyed me:

• Lindzi being all ga-ga goo-goo eyed over Ben when he is able to unlock City Hall with his very own key.  She says, "I don't know who this guy is, but he's kind of amazing."   Really? You don't know that he's the Bachelor and the date you are on is going to pale in comparison with probably 99% of all dates you'll go on in the future, and it wasn't even yours to begin with?  I know, I'm being a little harsh on Lindzi, mostly because I find her name very difficult to spell correctly repeatedly, but also because I want her to toughen up a bit and stop acting like a lovestruck teenager every time Ben enters the room.
• Lindzi saying she usually doesn't kiss boys on the first date, then fully makes out with Ben the entire night.
• Shawntel's comment on the drive to San Fran, "He's going to totally fall in love with me."  I don't really mind that Shawntel said this, so much as that the producers probably told her to say something crazy.  For one, it doesn't even sound like something Shawntel would say. I hate when they put words in the contestants' mouths.
• Certain girls were all talking a big game that if Shawntel got a rose, they would not stay.  Yet when Ben called their names, they gladly took it, no comments made/questions asked, besides Courtney.

• The reaction to Shawntel was far and beyond one of the most horrific scenes in Bachelor history.  If they had shown some of those clips to Ben before the rose ceremony, he could have knocked out 2/3 of the women easily.  Erika had some really nasty things to say, in particular - commenting on Shawntel's thighs.  Really?  You have a tattoo on the inside of your mouth and you want to attack Shawntel's amazing body?  And don't get me started on Jaclyn, or I may never stop.  How she can possibly insult Shawntel's profession and call her Brad's dumpster trash? It made my mouth drop open.  They should throw them both off the show for being quite possibly, the meanest females on this show since Jackie Gordon insulted Michelle Money on the Women Tell All of Brad's Season.  Jaclyn should not be making comments like, "I think I am better than Shawntel."  Mostly because it's just not true.  And all along, Shawntel just sat there, defending herself calmly, without lashing out.  Then you have the criers like Nicki who are just so sad that Shawntel is there, saying things like, "What makes her better than other people who have gone home?"  Um, well, nothing except who said this had anything to do with fairness?  Shouldn't it be all about Ben's quest to find love?  And yes, the women would be pissed, and yes, they may mistrust everything he had said to them, but if he was remotely, even a speck, interested in Shawntel, shouldn't he have given it a shot?  Because what happens at the end of the show when, best case scenario, he ends up engaged to someone. Then a few months pass and thinks are rocky and in the back of his mind he wonders WHAT IF? about Shawntel.  Why not date her a bit and confirm that he's not interested rather than giving in to the wackos that can't take a little competition?
• I can't believe the girls blame Shawntel for Erika feeling faint at the rose ceremony. It's not Shawntel's fault that Erika drank too much and didn't eat enough and that they drag out these ceremonies for hours.  It's also not Shawntel's fault that Erika had a less than stellar one on one conversation with Ben and probably knew her time was up. 
• Why on earth did Ben want Courtney around after she sends Shawntel off with a "Syonara!"  How rude can a person be?  Does he not hear this?

I will end this section with an excerpt of Ben's Blog where he clearly indicates that his lack of interest in Shawntel was not the reason he sent her home.  In fact, he validates that there was a "connection."  If any of these girls end up with Ben, can they honestly wonder if Shawntel will always be the girl who got away due to "bad timing?"

Shawntel and I had chatted a few times in between seasons and I thought she was an interesting, beautiful woman and she was right to assume that there was a connection. There was, but the timing was wrong. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when she showed up to the cocktail party unannounced.

I knew if I kept Shawntel around I would lose all the credibility I had built with these women and it wouldn't be easy to dig myself out of that hole.

Let's put it this way – if Shawntel had started the journey with the rest of the women it might have been different. But I was already so happy with the group of women that I had that I wasn't about to jeopardize the rest of my experience in trying to find love. I do want to thank Shawntel though for coming. She gave up a lot to try this and I really respect her for it.

These ladies may respect Ben now for his decision to send her home, but if he's even questioning the outcome had Shawntel started at the same time the rest of the group did, that's an issue. At least it would be for me. Bottom line: is this the last we see of Shawntel? I certainly hope not, but sounds like it may have to be.  Chris said in his blog today that Shawntel's appearance was a "pivotal" moment that "changed the season."

And some additional comments...

• Does anyone have any idea who musician Matt Nathanson is?  What happened to getting a band like Chicago or at least something we could hum along to?  
• I thought that Sonoma was Ben's hometown, but apparently it's also San Fran.  Rumor has it he spends a couple of days a week in Sonoma at the vineyards and grew up there, but currently lives in San Francisco.
• Was it really necessary for all of the girls to be gathered round as Shawntel spoke to Ben?
• Why does Courtney use expressions like "This is wack..."
• Hooray, Jaclyn is GONE!!!  What an extra slap in the face that Ben had the extra rose but was so completely turned off by Jaclyn and Erika that he chose not to use it for them (in addition to sending Shawntel home).  Funny, how some of the meanest comments about Shawntel came from the two of them.  I wonder what other nasty things were said that we didn't see.  I'm sure the producers didn't want us hating everyone.
• Are we ever going to get to see Jamie??

So next week, we are off to Park City, Utah - home of The Husband's sister!! I wonder if she passed some bikini wearing snow bunnies in the neighborhood.  Looks like the Courtney vs. Emily showdown heats up!  Be careful, Em!! 

PS: in case you haven't seen this by now. Check out the happiest mugshot ever taken.  Looks like Kasey Kahl is so delighted to be free from Vienna, that he's even happy in jail.